Nothing's Ever Easy
by MarkiplierMultiverse
Summary: Markiplier/JackSepticEye/Tobuscus. After a revealing weekend in New York City, Mark invites Jack over to LA for the week. Mark has other plans than just a fun filled week. He was finally going to tell Jack how he really felt. But then Toby had to mess things up. WORK IN PROGRESS
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:** If you don't ship Septiplier, stop reading right now. This fic will focus strongly on the relationship between Mark & Sean. As friends and as something more. This fic will also focus a bit on Mark & Tobuscus(because I ship it). I'm going to take my time with this story to get it just right. If you stick with me till the end, you're awesome. I have been known to take a long time with writing things. But since I've been so eager to start on this one, it probably won't take me AS long. Sit back and enjoy! Thnx.

* * *

 **Chapter One:** _Weekend_ _in NYC_

 _Thursday_

Taking a quick look at his phone to check the time, Mark sat down at his desk, hesitating for a moment before he turned on his camera and started recording. "Hello, everybody!" he said, using his familiar intro that came so easy to him that he sometimes said it when he answered phone calls. "My name is Markiplier and I've got some exciting news. Monday, Bob and Wade are coming down to L.A. and Monday night Jack will be here! Bob and Wade had a free week and I just decided to invite Jack along because what are friends for, am I right?" He smiled and chuckled.

"Anyway, I'm gonna have to keep this short because I was just on my way out to head for the airport and wanted to do a quick update vlog," Mark went on. "Ryan and Matt will be over here later to take care of the house and pets while I'm away and I'll make sure they get this video up today." He absentmindedly fixed the floof that was his hair as he spoke. "I'm heading to the airport because I'm catching a flight to New York City to work on something with a few other YouTubers. I'm not allowed to talk about it until and unless it gets picked up. I'll be working with some awesome people, so I hope it gets picked up. If not..." He shrugged his shoulders. "I haven't put any money into the project. I'm being paid to go over there.

"Expect the same amount of videos every day while I'm gone," he continued. "Next week, I'll be filming a lot of stuff with Bob, Wade, and Jack, so look forward to some great content with them. I'm excited. This week is gonna be great. I just wish I could tell you so much more! Hopefully, within the next month or two I'll be able to say at least a little bit of something." He glanced toward his phone when it lit up with a text, letting him know that his ride was here. He looked back at the camera. "I've gotta get going. I might do a meet and greet while I'm in New York, but I don't know yet. I'll try to keep you all informed, but for now I will see you..." He pointed at the camera. "...in the next video! Bye bye!" He waved then cut off the recording, grabbed his phone and hurried out, leaving a note for Matt and Ryan.

* * *

 _Friday_

Mark checked in at the hotel in New York City later that evening. Since it was still early, he thought about going out to get himself a bite to eat, but realized how tired he was the second he sat down. He laid back on the bed, planning on napping for a bit and then go out. But, he ended up sleeping through the whole night, waking up to his cell ringing in his pocket. Still laying down, he searched his pockets till he found the iPhone then answered it, holding it up to his ear. "Hello?"

The call was just to fill him in on everything he would be doing this weekend. He didn't have any appointments until later this afternoon, so his morning was free. He got up and showered, putting on jeans and his lucky flannel. He would change into something more professional later, but for now he just went for comfortable. He headed down to the lobby of the hotel to get some breakfast, filling up on fruit, yogurt, and coffee. After breakfast, he headed out to explore a bit to kill some time.

He shopped for a bit, meeting some fans while he was out. He got to chat with them for a bit and take some pictures before they went their separate ways. On his walk back to the hotel, he tweeted about the possibility of maybe doing a meet and greet sometime this weekend. Once he knew his schedule. But, he was pretty sure a meet and greet could happen. He wished he could do meet and greets more often, but that took time he didn't really have. He sure wished he had the time, but after all, he was only human and could only do so much and he was already giving his best.

He made it back to his hotel room just in time to receive a phone call, letting him know where he needed to be in an hour. He had a bit of time to crash before leaving, so he had an early lunch, changed into something more presentable, then headed out, catching a taxi that took him to his destination. Upon arrival, he only had to follow the other YouTubers he recognized to get to where he was going. The fifteenth floor and when he walked in, the set was better than he had imagined. And a lot bigger than he thought it would be. And this was only for now. Once the project got picked up, the crew would have a bigger space to work in California.

They were shown to a room and told to be seated, but it wasn't a requirement. There were about fifteen YouTubers there, only a few Mark recognized. He took his seat, settling down for the announcement and instructions that would begin in a few minutes. He pulled out his phone, glancing up when someone sat down beside him and Mark realized that it was Wade.

"So you got an invite, huh?" Mark joked, putting his phone away. "Why didn't you tell me you'd be here?"

"First I was told to keep it a secret," Wade replied. He held up the pass that was hanging from his neck. "Second, I'm here because someone else couldn't make it." Mark looked at the pass and saw 'LordMinion777 replacing JackSepticEye.' "I was the, like, the fifth person he called that didn't have any plans." He let the pass fall down against his chest.

"He's missing out on an awesome opportunity," Mark said, looking forward, noticing a few of the crew getting things ready to start. He looked back at Wade. "So you'll be heading straight to L.A. after this?"

Wade nodded his head. "And probably on the same flight," he said. "I asked Bob to come along with me this weekend so we could all hang out before heading over there, but he had some things to do."

"Some people can only stand me for a certain length of time," Mark joked with a chuckle. Wade laughed along with him then they both quieted down when a woman stepped to the podium at the front of the room and called for their attention.

"Hello and welcome, everyone!" she began with a big smile. "My name is Jeri Thomas and I'll be your host this weekend! We've got a rather big crowd today. More than we expected, in fact. Which only means that you were actually interested in this project! We thank you and hope you won't be disappointed by the time the weekend is over. You all came highly rated, the best of the best as someone would put it.

"Now that that's over, time to get to the good stuff," she went on. "As you all know, you're here for something that may or may not pick up. Welcome to The YouTube Games. We'll only be filming a handful of shows this weekend. Your schedule will be given to you after this presentation. The shows we film will be sent to Hollywood, where they will be reviewed and we'll find out whether or not the show will be picked up. If it does, expect to receive a call in the future for another chance at the Games."

She gestured over to the pair of doors they had all come through earlier. Standing there was a man and a woman, who were holding papers. Probably the information the YouTubers would need this weekend. Jeri continued, "When you leave this room, don't forget to grab your schedules. All of you don't have to hang around here all day. There's an entire city worth exploring during your stay. If you have any questions, see the director, Lee Chan." She pointed at the man standing with the woman at the doors. "In other news, we'll be having a party tonight and you wouldn't want to miss out on that. Now that I haven't kept you too long, we'll see you all tomorrow and Sunday. Thank you."

She dismissed everyone for the day. Mark and Wade stood up and headed out the door together, grabbing their schedules on the way. They were told that they would receive their team's shirts the next day. Mark looked down at his schedule and saw that Wade was on his team. There were five on each team and he didn't recognize anyone else on his team except for Toby Turner, otherwise known as Tobuscus. Mark folded up the piece of paper, sticking it into his pocket as Wade started up a conversation...

* * *

The party was held at a bar later that night. Due to health reasons, Mark was unable to drink, but that didn't keep him from getting together with friends and meeting some new ones. He especially wanted to get acquainted with the rest of his team. Unfortunately, none of them but Mark, Wade, and Toby had shown up at this party. He had only caught a glimpse of Toby. Mark sat with Wade and a few other YouTubers, catching up with old friends and meeting new ones. They were all excited about The YouTube Games and they all had the same hopes that the project would get picked up and go places. It was definitely an opening for Creators to branch out to other things, especially if YouTube decided to shut down.

After a couple of hours of talking, Mark volunteered to head over to the bar and refill everyone's drinks. The YouTube Games was sponsoring this party, so all the drinks were free for the YouTubers. Mark got himself a bottle of water then sat down at the bar and waited as the bartender worked on everyone else's drinks. He hadn't been sitting there long when he heard someone walk over and sat down beside him. Mark glanced over, easily recognizing Toby. The "Tobuscus" shirt was a dead giveaway.

"Has anyone appointed you team captain yet?" Toby asked with a chuckle. He had a beer in his hand and it was obvious he was already drunk. "And don't tell me the team doesn't have a team captain, 'cause that's a load of bull." He took another, long drink.

"That 'team' actually doesn't mean we'll be working together," Mark said. "If you had read your sheet, you'd know that. We're only called a team because only the five of us will be working in a specific time frame." He set his water down and looked over at Toby. "And we're up first tomorrow. Aren't you risking a hangover?"

"Why'd they throw a party at a bar if they didn't think we'd get drunk?" Toby asked. "Irresponsible on everyone's part. At least I don't have to worry about driving." He finished off his beer. He looked at Mark. "I won't have any more if you're worried. If I have a hangover tomorrow, you'll have a great advantage over me." He pointed at the water bottle. "Especially since you're not even drinking."

"I can't," Mark said, standing up when the drinks arrived. He paused when Toby grabbed some of the glasses. Thankfully, he didn't seem overly drunk, so he was able to help Mark carry the drinks back to the table. He didn't stick around when Mark sat down with his friends. He watched him go then looked at Wade when he leaned over.

"I heard he's been avoiding people all night," Wade said. "Did he suddenly decide to change his mind?"

"He's drunk," Mark said, taking a sip of his water. "He's really been avoiding people all night?" From what Mark knew of Toby, that seemed out of character for the guy. He put his water down. "Watch my water," he said then stood and followed in the direction Toby had gone. He found Toby in the bathroom, flushing after throwing up. He was walking over to the sinks as Mark walked in. No one else was in the bathroom and it was insanely quiet.

"I heard that you've been avoiding people," Mark said, deciding to be straightforward. He wasn't too sure why he was interested. He and Toby had done a few videos together in the past, but that was as far as their friendship went. They hadn't really spoken to each other in two years. He thought back to that time, remembering the slight spark of chemistry they had, which was probably why Mark was interested in Toby's well being now.

Toby finished at the sink and turned to him. "Have you also heard that hardly anybody here wants to talk to me?" he asked. Mark had heard about the drama that had popped up in Toby's life recently. Though it might have been cleared up, it sadly didn't change some people's opinions. "You may not drink, but frankly, I'd just like to forget that this weekend ever happened."

"You're grumpy when you're drunk," Mark said. "How do you know no one wants to talk to you when you've been avoiding everyone?" From Toby's sudden expression, Mark knew he had pushed a button. "They probably don't want to talk to you because they think you're in a bad mood 'cause you're avoiding everyone."

"Is is so bad to want to spend time alone?"

"You should've stayed at the hotel then."

"I didn't mean completely alone."

"Why don't you come sit at our table?" Mark offered. He knew Wade and the others would be fine with it. "Loosen up and have some fun. This weekend will be worth it, I promise." If Toby really hadn't wanted to come here, he never would have shown up in the first place.

"Fine," Toby said then followed Mark out of the bathroom and over to the table.

* * *

A couple of hours later, the party broke up and everyone was heading back to whichever hotel they were each staying at. Wade had already left and Mark was on his own by the time he headed out the door and on the streets. He noticed Toby standing at the curb, trying to wave down a taxi. For the City That Never Sleeps, it wasn't too late (or early) for a taxi to be available, but Toby wasn't having much luck in getting one. Mark glanced around once then walked over to stand beside Toby. The last couple of hours had sobered up Toby a bit and he had grown comfortable around Mark and the others, joking around and having a good time. Hopefully Toby wouldn't think tonight had been a complete waste.

"You know," Mark started, getting Toby's attention. "By the time you get a taxi, you could've walked to the hotel and back."

"Twenty minutes ago, I wasn't able to walk," Toby said. He gestured around. "The 'fresh' air has cleared my head up a bit, so I might tackle walking back." He shrugged his shoulders. "After all, I walked here." He chuckled and shook his head then looked at Mark. "Wanna walk back with me? There's strength in numbers. We might need all the help we can get on New York City streets at..." He looked at his phone to check the time. "...three thirty in the morning."

Mark had learned earlier that they were both staying at the same hotel, so he didn't see the harm in declining this offer. "You're right," he said. "What's the worst that can happen?"

"We can be assaulted by three muggers?"

"Let's just not think about muggers," Mark said then walked past Toby and started down the street. He heard Toby following after, picking up his pace until he was walking beside Mark. "Have fun tonight?"

"Surprisingly, yes," Toby said. "I only decided to come here to New York to get away from things for a while. Don't get me wrong, things have gotten better, but I just needed a break. I'd still be in that same mindset if you had decided not to come."

"I never considered not coming," Mark said. The first moment he had heard about this project, he was up for it. He had even wanted to be part of it back when rumors had been floating around. "It sounded like fun. Why would anyone not want to come?"

"Because of the possibility that it won't be picked up."

"Right, I forgot about that."

"It's great hanging out with other YouTubers," Toby said. "I hope it gets picked up."

"Yeah, me too."

* * *

They made it back to the hotel, with no sign of muggers, about half an hour later. Toby said goodnight and headed to his room then Mark headed to his own. He made it to his room only to find out that he had left the room key in the room. He cursed under his breath as he headed down to the front desk, but there was a sign letting him know no one would be there until morning. He sighed then, seeing no other alternative, made his way back to Toby's room and knocked. If he had known whether Wade was here or not, he was too tired to find out. Plus, his phone was dead. He would have to get up extra early in the morning to get an extra room key so he would have time to get ready for the YouTube Games.

Toby was already dressed for bed when he opened the door, looking slightly surprised to see Mark there. "I locked myself out," Mark explained. "I can't get another key till morning."

Toby smirked. "Are you asking to sleep over?" he asked.

"I gave you a fun night," Mark said. "It's the least you could do."

"But what will people think if they see you walk out of here tomorrow?"

"Let me in, asshole."

Toby grinned then opened the door wider and let Mark in. Toby closed the door as Mark walked in. To find that there was only one bed. And not even a couch. "I'm sure you have different sleeping arrangements," Toby said, walking past Mark and over to the bed. He turned back. "But, really, this is all I need." He sat down on the bed. He threw one of the pillows at Mark, who caught it with ease. "Floor or share?"

"Floor's fine," Mark said. "You don't mind if I take a shower, do you? I don't wanna have to worry about it in the morning."

Toby shrugged, laying down, his attention on his phone. "I don't have anything for you to wear, so you'll just have to put on your dirty clothes," he said. He lowered the phone and looked at Mark. "Though I do have a pair of shorts that I bought today that were too big." He pointed over to the plastic bag on the floor by his suitcase. "You can use that."

Mark grabbed the bag and pulled out the shorts. "Thanks," he said then stepped into the bathroom. Twenty minutes later, dressed only in shorts that were also a little big on him, he walked out of the bathroom, dropping his clothes on the floor by the wall. He picked up the pillow Toby had given him then found a good spot on the floor to lay down. Toby was already snoring. Mark turned out the lights then laid down to get to sleep.

* * *

 _Saturday_

Mark woke up the next morning to an empty room. He at first thought he was back in his own room, but then remembered he was sleeping on the floor. He got up, seeing his phone plugged up on the table next to a room key that had his room number on it. There was also a pair of jeans and a "YouTube Games" shirt on the bed. He found a note from Toby explaining he had gotten Mark a new key and someone had dropped off the shirts at each of the YouTubers rooms. The fact that Toby had been in his room...

The door opened and Toby walked in. He was carrying a cup of coffee. "Just get up?" he asked when he saw Mark standing. He put the coffee down on the table. "The food here's not the greatest, but it's better than nothing. Though, I heard the YouTube Games will be providing meals."

"What time did you get up?" Mark asked, checking his phone before he grabbed the shirt and jeans. There was a new pair of underwear and socks, so he really didn't need to stop by his room before heading over to the Games. He looked at Toby. "Did you rummage through my shit?"

"There was no rummaging involved," Toby said, sitting down on the bed. "Your suitcase is very organized. It's weird."

"Not everyone just shoves things into a bag," Mark said. "You're in a good mood, seeing as how you were drunk last night."

"I wasn't that drunk," Toby said. "I sobered up before I fell asleep." He laid back on the bed. "We have two hours before we get to the Games. You could've waited and had that shower this morning."

"I thought I had things to do this morning," Mark said. He held up the clothes then nodded toward the room key. "Thanks for this, but you didn't have to."

"After helping last night, I figured I owed you one," Toby said. "Letting you sleep over and fixing your problem evens us out."

"Just for the hell of it, I'm gonna take another shower," Mark said, heading for the bathroom. When he was finished, and dressed, he put the dirty clothes in a bag then grabbed his phone, charger, and the room key. Toby was still laying on the bed. "Don't go back to sleep. Long day today."

Toby sat up. "Why'd you help me last night?"

Mark paused and turned back. "What?"

"I've been thinking all morning and I can't figure out why you were so interested in getting me out of my funk last night," Toby said. "I'm grateful for it, but you were the first person to talk to me all night."

"I could also ask why you took the time to talk to me at the bar," Mark said. "I was trying to be a friend and it sounded like you needed one last night."

"I have other friends."

"But they're not here."

"This the part where you ask me why I was so depressed last night?"

"I don't want to pry."

"I thought I had found someone, back in California," Toby said. Mark put his things down, sitting on the edge of the table to listen. "We had only just met and went out on one date before I came here. She called me when I checked in here and she said she never wanted to see me again. I was happy for a couple of days and then she just grabbed my heart and threw it back in my face."

Mark couldn't really be sympathetic toward Toby. After all, what kind of person gets that attached to another after only one date? "I'm sorry," he said. "Did she not want you to come here?"

"She encouraged it," Toby said. "I found out that she had been engaged for the last two months. The date she had with me was just to get back at her fiance." He shrugged. "Shitty, right?"

"You really needed a friend last night."

"And thanks for that."

Mark nodded his head, standing and turning to grab his things. He paused and looked back. "Sorry I haven't really stayed in contact," he said. "I could have been a better friend the last two years."

Toby stood up. The room was small enough, so they were standing nearly toe to toe now. "A friendship works both ways," he said. "I could have stayed in contact as well. But, I didn't think we were close enough to be real friends."

"After all, we only did like a handful of videos together," Mark said, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. He didn't know why he had suddenly become so nervous. He and Toby had never had a thing, but there had been _something_ on that day two years ago. Something that had stuck and had been at the back of Mark's mind this whole time. "And just because we'll be competing this weekend doesn't mean we can't still be real friends."

"I agree."

There was silence for a few minutes. Mark couldn't remember who moved first, but suddenly they were on each other. Kissing Toby sent a thrill through Mark's body. For a moment they were fighting for dominance as Toby tried to get Mark up on the table. The moment Mark took over was the moment they were falling down on the bed. The springs creaked, but were ignored as they pulled at each others' clothes. They still had over an hour before the start of the Games. That was also ignored.

Unable to get even a simple item of clothing off the other, Mark slid down Toby's body, yanking his jeans down in the process. Mark eyed the mound that was Toby's underwear for a second before he pulled those down as well. Exposed, Toby moved to sit up, but Mark pushed him back down then leaned over and took Toby's cock into his mouth.

Mark had never done anything like this, but he had thought about it. Of course, Toby had never been the person in his fantasies. And the sudden realization now made Mark hesitate for a split second when he thought about the plans he had made. The real reason he had invited Sean over for the week. Those thoughts slipped from his mind as Toby moaned and bucked his hips, attempting to fuck Mark's mouth. Mark prevented that just by holding Toby's hips down.

Just as Toby was about to finish, Mark sat up, pulling off, when his phone started ringing. Toby cursed, rolling over as Mark got up off the bed, grabbing his phone. It was Wade. Mark calmed his breathing then answered the phone. "Yeah?"

"Where the hell are you?" Wade asked. "I stopped by your room, but there was no answer. Are you at the Games already?"

Mark forced his mind to stay focused as Toby came up behind him, pulling his jeans and underwear down. "I'm eating breakfast with someone," he said, grabbing the edge of the table with his free hand as he felt Toby's mouth assaulting his asshole. "I'll...meet you at the Games."

"You all right?" Wade asked.

"Fine," Mark said, holding back a moan. "See you later." He hung up then laid across the table, spreading his legs as much as he could as Toby stroked his cock then pulled it down between his legs to take it into his mouth. "Fuck," he murmured, letting it go on for a bit longer before he moved, grabbing Toby and leaning him over the table.

Toby chuckled, begging for it as Mark pushed his cock inside Toby. Grabbing Toby, Mark started thrusting. It didn't last half as long as either of them wanted. Toby's muscles tightened around Mark as he came, practically forcing Mark to cum as well. They stayed in that position for a while before Mark pulled out, pulled his jeans on, then grabbed his things and left.

* * *

Mark arrived at the Games with some time to spare. It didn't make him feel any easier. After all, he would have to face Toby again. Sooner than he wanted to. Things had gotten out of hand back at the hotel and Mark just wanted to forget all about it. Pretend like it never happened. But things weren't that easy. Especially since Mark had pieced together that Toby had been trying to get something to happen. Despite the fact that Toby had just gone through a breakup, he wasn't vulnerable. At least, Mark hadn't gotten that feeling. If anything, he had been manipulated.

He jumped when he felt a hand on his shoulder, but relaxed when it was just Wade. "You okay?" Wade asked. "A little jumpy this morning."

Mark looked around then grabbed Wade's arm and pulled him into another, more quiet, room. "I have a problem," he said, keeping his voice low still. "I need you to make sure I'm never alone with Toby."

Wade looked confused. "What?" he asked. "Why?"

"I would rather _not_ go into details," Mark said, though he was pretty sure the avoidance of the subject would paint the picture. And judging by the sudden expression on his friend's face, Mark knew the picture had been painted.

"Oh my god," Wade said, his voice just as low as Mark's now. "You've gotta be shitting me! You and Toby-"

Mark covered Wade's mouth with his hand, pointing a finger in his face with the other. "You don't speak a word of this to anyone," he said. He knew he could trust Wade, but he didn't want anyone messing up the week he had planned. Well, he didn't want anyone messing it up even more than it already was. "You've gotta promise me that and promise you won't let me and Toby go anywhere private." He lowered his hand so that Wade would be able to talk.

"I promise," Wade said, sounding like he understood the seriousness of this situation. "It won't be easy, but I'll try my best. Now can you tell me what the hell you were thinking?!"

"I wasn't thinking, that's the problem!" Mark said. "But I at least had enough smarts to get out of there when I could." There had been plenty of opportunities _before_ he had fucked Toby, but he hadn't left. Why? Because of how he had felt one day two years ago? He had been different back then. Toby had been a different change of pace for him and he had been strongly drawn toward it. He had never known until today that that feeling had been mutual. "Dammit."

"You fucked up, man."

"I don't need you to tell me that," Mark said, taking a few deep breaths before he ended up snapping at one of his best friends. "I need you to tell me what to do!"

"Shouldn't you figure that out?" Wade asked. "It's your life."

"I didn't want it to come to this!"

"What's so bad about it?" Wade asked. "You've mentioned you've been feeling kinda lonely the last few weeks. Maybe-"

"I was going to tell Jack how I really felt," Mark said, not looking at Wade. "Sean..."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Maybe the best thing for you to do right now is talk to Toby."

"I can't-"

"You can't avoid him forever," Wade said. "Especially after walking out on him afterward." He patted Mark on the shoulder then turned and left the room. Mark stayed there for a moment longer then followed.

* * *

Thankfully the morning went by with Mark not having to worry about anything else besides focusing on the Games. Things weren't too awkward with Toby around. In fact, Toby acted as if nothing had happened between them. Which made things easier, but Mark also felt a stab of hurt for a split second. He quickly pushed it away and moved on.

Later that afternoon, back in his hotel room, Mark had almost forgotten about earlier that morning until he got a knock at the door and it was Toby. Suddenly things became awkward and Mark silently invited him in, closing the door behind him.

"You left pretty quickly this morning," Toby said, first to break the silence.

"I wouldn't call that quickly," Mark said, remaining by the door. A silent way of saying he didn't expect Toby to stay long. "I stayed longer than intended."

"Ouch," Toby said then nodded his head as if he had deserved the retort. "I admit, things went a little too far. I obviously read you wrong."

Mark crossed his arms. "What do you mean?" he asked, his tone not as sour as he thought it would be. In fact, he didn't find himself too upset about what had happened. But there was one thing he could never admit at loud: he had enjoyed himself.

"Last night, at the bar," Toby explained. "You were trying so hard to be there for me as a friend. And then you show up at my hotel room after conveniently locking yourself out? You may come off as the straightest man on YouTube, but you're not that innocent."

"So I was the manipulator?"

Toby raised a brow. "You thought I was?"

"I was the first person you talked to at the bar," Mark said. "You asked me to walk with you. You got my things for me this morning."

"And I made the first move."

Mark couldn't remember that, but he would gladly pin the blame on Toby. "So you admit it."

"I can admit that neither one of us are completely innocent," Toby said, walking over to Mark and stopping only when he had Mark backed up against the door. "You lingered this morning because, deep down, you wanted it. I still remember the little looks you gave me two years ago. I've been thinking about you a lot since then. Probably why I've sucked at relationships so much the last two years."

"Nothing happened two years ago."

"Would you have wanted it to?" Toby asked. "If I had asked you to stay longer, would you have been willing to sleep with me? Fuck me like you did this morning? Or would you have gotten fucked?"

"Nothing happened," Mark said. He hated that he was so turned on by Toby's words. He couldn't get the image out of his head of the possibilities of what could have happened two years ago. After this morning, it was considerably easier to imagine what could have been. "I think you should go."

"I won't make it weird for you this weekend," Toby said. "I proved that to you today." He palmed Mark's groin, rubbing against his erection. "We won't even have to go further than this weekend. Let's just have fun." There wasn't much resistance when he caught Mark's lips with his own.

Mark gave in and again enjoyed every minute of it.

* * *

 _Sunday, Monday_

The rest of the weekend went by with Games, friends, and more. Toby spent the next couple of nights in Mark's hotel room. They didn't talk much. It was mostly just sex. Much needed release. That was how Mark viewed it so he wouldn't feel bad about doing it. He was able to relax once he got on the plane Monday morning for the flight back. He was seated next to Wade. Toby never came up in the conversation. Mark was going to do his best to forget that it ever happened.

He had a full week to look forward to.

* * *

 _To be continued..._


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two:** _Week in LA_

 _Monday_

Mark had slept on the plane, making it easy for him to avoid the subject of Toby with Wade during the flight. Of course, that hadn't stopped Mark from dreaming a very vivid dream of Toby. Thankfully, he didn't have a reaction to it while he was sleeping, though he felt as if he should have. He woke up, feeling a cold sweat running down his back. He pushed the dream away and was back to himself by the time the plane landed. Mark grabbed his carryon bag then followed after Wade as everyone disembarked. It was a silent walk to the baggage claim mostly because Wade was on the phone with Molly, telling her about the weekend and the upcoming week and what not. They grabbed their luggage then both headed for the exit together.

Outside, Mark came to an abrupt halt when he saw who was standing there, waiting for a taxi. Sean. The Irishman hadn't noticed them until Wade called out to him. Mark was unable to find his voice because he was in Sean's presence with that dream about Toby scratching at the back of his mind. Everything that had happened over the weekend came crashing back down and he quickly wiped the look of guilt on his face before those blue eyes turned to him after greeting Wade.

"Hey, Mark," Sean said, walking over and giving Mark a hug. Mark returned the embrace, easily falling into the 'nothing was wrong' phase. "I know I'm here early, but I wanted to surprise ya."

"You definitely did that," Mark said with a smile. "I won't have to worry about picking you up later."

"Unless I pass out between here and your house," Sean said with a small chuckle. "I haven't had a wink of sleep the past two days to get here today." He grabbed his bag that was resting on the sidewalk. "Lead the way."

Mark nodded his head then walked between the two and headed across the parking lot to where his car was sitting. He had gotten Matt and Ryan to bring the car over so he wouldn't have to worry about waiting for a ride or pay for the entire weekend to park his car at the airport. They loaded everything into the car then took off to the house.

Matt and Ryan greeted them as they walked through the door, but Mark immediately went for Chica, loving on her as she came up to greet him, her tail wagging happily as she ran around in circles before him. He was only half aware of the conversation going on behind him, hearing about how the weekend went and how Sean had missed it all. Mark didn't want to think about if Sean had been there over the weekend. Whose hotel room would he have gone to the night he locked himself out? He would have liked to say Sean, but after this weekend...

"Mark!"

Mark broke out of his daze, realizing people had been trying to talk to him. He sat down on the floor, Chica in his lap and looked up at the four who were looking down at him. "What?" he asked. "We're not supposed to talk about what happened over the weekend. Not until it gets picked up." From the chuckles and smiles, he knew that that wasn't what they had been trying to get his attention about. "What?" he asked again.

"Before you left, you never told us where everyone would be sleeping this week," Ryan said. "We got the guest room cleaned out, but everyone's not gonna be able to sleep in there."

"Bob and Wade can be roomies in the guest room," Mark said, giving Chica more affections, so his words came out without thinking them through. "And Jack can bunk in my floor. I bought a new air mattress that'll work." He looked up, glancing an expression on Sean's face that he didn't have time to interpret. "Or someone can sleep on the couch." He shrugged his shoulders as if it made no difference to him, but he was just covering up the fact that he had had the sleeping arrangements planned when he had planned this week.

"I'll have to check out the guest room first," Wade said. "And if Bob and I can't stand being room mates, one of us will come out to the couch."

Leaving Sean where he was at in Mark's room. Wade had done that on purpose.

Getting to his feet, Mark grabbed his bags. "Let's get everyone moved in and we can sit down for lunch before I gotta head back to the airport to pick up Bob," he said, leading the way to his own bedroom. He felt himself becoming a bit nervous as he heard Sean follow after him, breaking away from the others. He took a deep, silent breath as he walked into the room, trying to ignore the fact that he and Sean were alone.

Mark put his things on the bed then walked over to the closet, pulling out the air mattress. "I don't know if you've slept on air mattresses before," he said, just to strike up some sort of conversation so things didn't get too awkward in the silence. He put it down on the floor by the bed, making sure that Chica's bed was between the two. It wouldn't stop temptation, but having Chica between them would make sure Mark stayed on schedule with what he had planned.

Hopefully dreams about Toby wouldn't pop up.

"I've slept on worse," Sean said, putting his things down. "Might have to use it this afternoon."

Mark pulled out the pump for it. "Use it anytime you need to," he said. "Next to picking up Bob, I've gotta film some videos, so I'll make sure no one'll bother you while you sleep." Imagining Sean sleeping popped into his head. With his body wrapped around Sean's as they both slept. "Hungry?" He headed for the door. He could probably safely say that he wouldn't be sticking to his planned schedule.

* * *

The rest of the day went by smoothly. Mark went and picked up Bob and brought him back, showing him the sleeping arrangements. He was fine with rooming with Wade. Then Mark headed to his room to fill some videos, being quiet enough so he wouldn't wake Sean up. He knew rumors would crop up once it was known that Sean was sleeping in his room, so Mark's excuse for being quiet was that he was saving his voice for the week so he wouldn't lose it while filming with Bob, Wade, and Sean. Hopefully that would satisfy his viewers.

When everyone turned in for the night, Sean stayed up a little later, using Mark's things to film a few videos of his own. Mark stayed up reading so Sean didn't have to worry about being quiet. Of course, there were other residents in the house, but they were all used to late nights so they wouldn't be bothered. Mark ended up falling asleep in the middle of reading and Sean recording didn't wake him up.

He dreamed that he was back in his hotel room in New York City. Toby was on his stomach beneath him. As Mark moved his hips, moving in and out of Toby, he focused on the sounds Toby was making. The way Toby whispered or moaned Mark's name. Sometimes with teasing. Even during sex, Toby didn't take it too seriously. That should have helped Mark separate himself from those feelings, but instead it enhanced them. The more Toby joked about the 'thing between them,' the more it turned Mark on.

Mark woke up, seeing the sun starting to come up. He looked at the clock and saw that it was a little after five in the morning. Sean was still asleep. Mark crept out of bed, careful not to wake Chica or Sean. He made it to the bathroom, closing the door and turning on the light. He thought about taking a cold shower, but decided to shove his pants down and take care of himself over the toilet. He had to hold back the moan when he came. He washed up then stared at himself in the mirror.

This wasn't like him. He was usually able to just ignore dreams like that. Sure, he hardly ever had those types of dreams, but when he did, he had never had this sort of reaction to it. He didn't know if he was just tired or missed Toby.

He told himself he was just tired.

* * *

 _Tuesday_

Mark's plans for the day were simple: film a few videos with everyone then just hang out and relax. Mark made breakfast for everyone, not commenting on how they all got up at different times, so no one was really eating breakfast together. Mark took Chica and Lego out for a walk then was back in time to wash the dishes after everyone had eaten. He had gotten offers for help from all of them, but he had politely declined. They were his guests and some still needed some rest after the long weekend. He knew he did.

Hearing his phone start ringing, Mark stopped washing dishes, dried his hands then pulled the phone out, checking the display. It was Toby. He had the urge to just ignore the call, but he answered it anyway. "Hello?"

"Hey," Toby sounded like he was in a really good mood. He had told Mark that he would be staying an extra few days in New York City as a real vacation. He said he would call once he was back in LA, but Mark hadn't really expected him to. Not after the way Toby talked about their tryst not going any further than the weekend. "I guess you made it back to LA all right."

"Yeah," Mark said, pointing toward the sink when Ryan walked into the kitchen for something. Ryan, noticing that Mark was on the phone, nodded his head and stepped over to the sink. Mark nodded his head then stepped outside. "Are you back in LA?"

"No," Toby replied. "I just thought I'd call to see how you were doing. You haven't answered any of my texts."

 _Texts?_ Mark couldn't remember receiving any texts from Toby. He wouldn't be surprised if he had just overlooked them. "I've kinda been busy," he said. "I have some guests over this week and I guess I just forgot. Sorry."

"No biggie," Toby said with a small laugh. "It's not like we're committed to each other or anything."

For some reason, Mark was starting to get some clingy vibes from Toby. "We did promise to keep in contact," he said. "So that's kind of a commitment." He sat down on one of the chairs outside, enjoying the morning breeze. The cool wouldn't last too long. It was supposed to get pretty hot this week. He would probably have to plan a pool party after a long day of shooting. "How're things in New York?"

"Great," Toby said. "Had to move into a different hotel after a couple of complaints from my neighbors..."

"Oh?" Mark asked, a slight smirk on his face. "You being good over there?" He chuckled.

"What if I said I had gotten some complaints during the nights you stayed over?" Toby said. Thank god he wasn't standing there. That wiped the smirk off Mark's face quickly. "I didn't address the complaint and apologize, which was why I moved to another hotel."

"Are you just shitting me or did that actually happen?" Mark asked. He knew Toby had had a crappy room, but he hadn't thought they had been that loud to disturb the neighbors.

"Want me to lie?"

Mark decided not to press further with that. "You get a better room this time?" he asked. "More space?"

"I don't need the space, remember?" Toby said. "But this room does have two beds." There was a slight pause. "And I keep imagining looking over to see you lying on the other bed."

Mark was a bit unsure of how to deal with this. Toby was the one to say it wouldn't continue past that weekend, yet here he was practically confessing that there was more between them. "And what am I doing on the other bed?" he asked, subconsciously lowering his voice even though he was out here alone. "I would've imagined you on the same bed as me." He had probably crossed a line with that, but the words just came out without thinking. In fact, all he had been thinking about was the dreams he had been having.

"You're craving it, aren't you?"

"Craving what?"

"My touch," Toby said. "Hell, it doesn't even have to be my touch. Just any sort of intimate touch. We had a fun ride this weekend. It's natural to want more after being cut off from it so quickly. Especially since it was your first time with a guy."

"I better go," Mark said, trying to avoid how true Toby's words felt. "I've got a lot of things to do today."

"I'll be back in LA on Friday," Toby said. "We should hook up."

"I'll think about it," Mark said then just hung up. Just in time, too. The door behind him slid open and Matt, Ryan, Sean, Bob, and Wade all walked out, followed by the dogs. He put his phone away then looked over at them. "Everyone ready for a fun day?"

* * *

Later that evening, once stuff was filmed and some videos uploaded, Mark cooked everyone some supper. To his surprise, Bob and Wade told him that they were going to go catch a movie with Matt and Ryan. Mark got the feeling that he knew what was going on when no one thought to invite him and that Sean had declined the offer. Did everyone know what Mark had planned? Or did Sean have something planned himself? Just that thought distracted Mark from fully focusing on what he was cooking. Amazingly, he didn't burn anything.

After serving the food, Mark sat down at the table across from Sean, who was eating silently. Mark picked at his food for a moment before he started eating as well. He could feel the awkward silence descending, but there was also a sort of excitement in the air.

"Mark?"

Looking up from his food and across the table at Sean, Mark's heart started pounding. "Yeah?" he asked. "Need something?"

"No," Sean said, shaking his head slightly. There was a bit of hesitation on his part and Mark knew what was coming, though he didn't say anything. He had had this week planned out perfectly to win Sean over. It was a relief to know that he wouldn't have to worry about that. He had already won Sean over. When exactly that happened, Mark didn't know, but he would probably learn right now. "I...uh...I just wanted to thank you for invitin' me over for the week. It was real nice of ya." He nodded his head then went back to eating.

Mark gave a small smile. Sean was nervous, that was obvious. "I figured you needed the vacation," he said. "Get away from everything for a while."

"Not everything," Sean said. "I didn't back up anything for YouTube. I'm gonna be filming a lot here."

"That's no problem."

Sean picked at his food for a moment then looked back at Mark. "You're real good to me," he said. "I couldn't ask for a better friend."

Mark smiled. "I'd do anything for you," he said, noticing the slight blush that appeared on Sean's face. Mark enjoyed teasing him just to see that reaction. "I kinda had this week all planned out."

Sean's brow lifted. "You did?" he asked. "Why?"

"Probably for the same reason you arranged for us to be alone tonight," Mark said. He hadn't really been accused of being blunt or straightforward, but he didn't see the point in running around in circles just to get to the point. "I know things have been changing between us."

Sean had a slight panicked look on his face, telling Mark that his thoughts had gone the wrong direction. "R-really?" he asked.

"I've been blind to it, for probably a long while now," Mark admitted. "I never paid attention because I never saw you that way. Until a couple of weeks ago. I had a jolt telling me that all I wanted was right in front of me. Well, not right right in front of me, but you get the idea." He chuckled at himself.

"You're saying...what, exactly?"

"I'm saying...I like you more than just a friend should," Mark said. He wished he had chosen to sit beside Sean instead of across from him. All he really wanted to do was grab Sean in his arms and...

Maybe Toby was right. He _was_ craving that type of intimate touch. But it wasn't because of the weekend he had spent with Toby. He had been longing that touch for a while.

"You...actually saved me from having to say anything," Sean said. "I had worked out this entire speech and I've been so afraid you wouldn't feel the same way. I've been holding it back for months now."

Mark got up, walked around the table, and sat down beside Sean. "I'm not perfect at relationships," he said. Sean gave him a 'no one is' look. "But I wanna try my best with you."

"I'm all for that," Sean said with a smile.

Mark smiled back then leaned forward. Sean met him halfway and their lips connected. It didn't have the same spark he had shared with Toby. This time was even better. They came together like they were made for each other.

It didn't go too far that night. They finished supper and played some video games then turned in early for the night. Sean still slept on the air mattress. Before the week was out, Mark was going to have Sean on his bed.

That night he had another dream about Toby.

* * *

 _Wednesday_

Mark was up earlier than everyone else the next morning. Which wasn't too surprising since he was in the habit of getting up early. He got a video uploading, showered, then headed downstairs to the kitchen to start breakfast. He let the dogs out to run around the pool then started making a batch of pancakes. He had just gotten enough for two apiece when everyone showed up in the kitchen. He caught Sean's eye as they all sat down to eat, smiling a bit when he saw Sean blush and look away. No one else noticed or else they didn't even think about addressing it.

Then again, the way he had always teased Sean, anything between them now was still natural.

"So, how was the movie last night?" Mark asked, striking up conversation. He got up long enough to let the dogs back in. "I didn't hear anyone talking about it when you got home."

"It was okay," Matt said with Ryan sharing that opinion, then Bob and Wade started talking about how shitty the movie had been. Matt and Ryan started defending the movie, but after a few minutes, they were all saying the same things about it. Mark just sat there quietly, letting them duke it out. He glanced over at Sean every once in a while, but Sean was more interested in the pancakes he was eating.

"I take it your date went pretty good last night," Wade said and Mark realized that the movie talk was over and almost everyone was looking at him.

"Everyone just wants to fuck up my plans, don't they?" Mark asked with a shake of his head. His friends laughed. He looked over at Sean. "It did go pretty good last night, didn't it?" Not the way he had hoped for, but that time would come. Last night had been perfect by itself.

Sean finally looked up from his pancakes. "It went better than expected," he said. "But I wouldn't call it a date."

"What would you call it then?"

"Their first argument, how cute," Bob commented. He laughed when Mark and Sean both glared at him, but they ended up laughing along with him, followed quickly by Wade, Matt, and Ryan.

Once they all settled down Mark asked, "So, what does everyone want to do today? Film something or go out and do something?"

No one seemed interested in going out. That was understandable. Summer in California wasn't all that fun. "Or," Mark said. "We could go swimming." They were all for that idea.

* * *

It was just a day of relaxing. They had the rest of the week on a schedule. There was no guarantee they would stick to that schedule, but they had it up on the fridge to make sure they at least got something done. The only downside of the day was that Mark and Sean couldn't find time to spend alone. One or the other were either recording or hanging out with the animals or the others. It made Mark anxious about that night; when they would _really_ be alone. He had even gone upstairs to rearrange things, putting Chica's bed at the end of his own and scooting the air mattress a bit closer.

Mark walked into his room later that evening to check YouTube, maybe watch some Game Grumps, when he noticed the bathroom door slightly open. He could hear the shower running and Sean humming some song he didn't recognize. He closed the bedroom door, standing near the bathroom door, smiling as he listened. He hadn't pictured Sean as the singing in the shower type. Then again, he hadn't really ever pictured Sean in the shower before. He bit his lip as his thoughts started straying...

"Mark! Dammit!" Sean jumped, startled as he came out of the bathroom wearing only shorts. A t-shirt was in his hands. "Do you always stand around outside the bathroom?" He smacked Mark with the shirt.

Mark couldn't keep the smile off his face. "Do you always keep the bathroom door open?" he asked.

"It was hot in there," Sean said. "I was letting in some cool air so it wouldn't get stuffy."

"You could've opened a window."

"And let in hot air?" Sean asked then shook his head as he pulled the shirt on over his head. "It wouldn't kill you to put an air conditioner in there."

"Just as easy to leave the door open," Mark said then walked over to his desk and sat down, pulling up YouTube. He started reading through some of the comments, becoming aware of Sean standing there, looking over his shoulder close to him. Mark found it hard to concentrate on anything he was reading. Especially with Sean standing over him smelling like Mark's shampoo.

"Do you really read that fast?"

Mark broke out of his daze, and stopped scrolling through the comments at breakneck speed. "N-no," he stammered, clearing his throat as he shifted in his seat, bumping against Sean in the process which just made the smell of him spread further. "I start at the bottom."

"Okay," Sean said. He walked away from Mark and over to the air mattress. Mark could hear him lay down. "Have you had a shit ton of Septiplier comments lately? People are getting ideas when I mentioned I was using your setup."

Just like all of his other relationships, Mark knew he could keep his private life private. But for how long? Most of his viewers wanted him and Sean to start dating. Someone would notice something and then everyone would go crazy. "I haven't noticed," he said. "Haven't got to the bottom yet." He resumed scrolling through the comments.

"How would you feel if we announced it?"

Mark stopped what he was doing as those words settled in. He swiveled his chair around to look at Sean. "What do you mean?" he asked, though he knew exactly what Sean meant. He gestured behind him at the computer screen. "Announce it on YouTube?"

Sean sat up. "Would it be so bad?" he asked. "I mean, other YouTubers are dating and they have no problem announcing it to their fans. I think it'd be nice to do this. I wouldn't have to keep anything from them."

Mark had to admit that it would be nice, but they wouldn't have much of a private life. Once they knew, everyone would expect them to do everything together. He said as much and the look on Sean's face said he understood, but Sean cared about his fans just as much as Mark did. "I'll think about it," Mark said. "After all, we haven't really started dating yet. We've got time to think things over."

Sean nodded his head. "And deal with the long distance thing first," he said. "I wouldn't wanna say anything then find out that it doesn't work out."

Mark didn't even want to think about that possibility. He stood up and walked over and sat down on the air mattress with Sean. It wasn't the most comfortable place, but it was where he wanted to be. "It'll be hard," he said, not needing to say it since he knew that Sean had once had a long distance relationship before. Sure, that hadn't worked out, but they had managed. "But I believe we can do it."

Sean nodded, but he didn't seem convinced. Mark knew he was scared. It scared him a little, too, but he put on a brave face. He had more than just the distance to deal with. He still needed to sort things out with Toby. After that phone call yesterday, Mark knew Toby was hoping for that weekend to turn into something more between them.

"If you say so," Sean said.

Mark didn't say anything. He leaned forward and kissed Sean, feeling the other lean into him. Mark slipped his arms around the smaller man then laid him down, the air mattress feeling a bit flat beneath them. Neither of them moved to get up. With Sean's fingers in Mark's hair and Mark's hand going for Sean's shorts, things were about to get more interesting.

Then there came a knock at the door. Wade letting them know that they had ordered pizza and were going to watch a movie. Mark grumbled under his breath then looked down at Sean when he laughed. Mark rolled his eyes then got up, helping Sean to his feet then they both walked out of the room. It was nice to spend time with friends, but the night was far from the way Mark wanted it to go.

* * *

 _Thursday_

When Mark woke up the next morning, he was surprised to find himself on the couch. He couldn't remember if he had fallen asleep during or after the movie. Either way, no one had bothered to wake him up and make sure he went upstairs to bed. Though, the fact that Sean was sleeping on the couch beside him was probably the reason no one had woken him up. If he found pictures of him and Sean with teasing captions plastered all over the house, he was going to slap everyone.

Mark got up off the couch, making sure he didn't wake up Sean then headed into the kitchen, seeing the others sitting at the table eating breakfast or just drinking coffee. Mark murmured a good morning to them as he poured himself a cup of coffee.

"Should we spread the rumor that you and Sean are sleeping together now?" Matt asked. Ryan chuckled beside him. Mark ignored them. "OK, then we're tweeting about it."

Mark stirred his coffee then turned toward the table. "All right," he said. "Let's get the remarks over with now so we can finally get to work on filming something today." He nodded his head, sipping his coffee as he waited for them to start. He watched them look at each other, but say nothing. "Not that fun when I'm askin' for it, huh?" he asked then chuckled. "I'll be teasing Sean enough about us sleeping together."

"Who's sleeping together?" Sean asked, walking in.

Mark pulled out his phone when it started ringing. "Toby," he said, reading the caller id.

Sean looked at Mark, slightly confused. "You're sleeping with Toby?"

Mark had a sudden panic, but hid it well and pushed the feeling back. "Toby's calling me," he explained, holding his phone up. "Probably to ask if I'll be able to pick him up at the airport tomorrow. Excuse me." He put his coffee down then left the room, heading upstairs. He didn't answer the phone until he had closed himself up in the bathroom.

"I was starting to think you'd be ignoring my calls as well," Toby said when Mark had answered. "You'd tell me if I read you wrong, right?"

"What do you mean?" Mark asked, sitting down on the edge of the tub. It was a bit strange to be sitting here in his bathroom talking to something other than his camera. "If you read me wrong, last weekend never would have happened."

"I'm not talking about the weekend," Toby said. Mark knew what was coming. He hadn't prepared himself for it and he still didn't know how to handle it. Was there a good way of turning someone down? "You don't seem like a fuck once then never again type of guy. You were lonely, I was lonely, and we seemed to fit together pretty well. I know what I said about it not going further than the weekend, but-"

"I'm not ready for a serious relationship right now," Mark said. "I mean, there's a shit ton of commitment that goes into a relationship and I just can't handle that right now."

There was a long silence at the other end of the call. "Toby?" Mark asked. "You still there?"

"Friends with benefits."

"What?"

"You're not ready for a serious relationship," Toby said. "And I...hell, I've got shit to work through before taking that step with someone again. Doesn't mean we still can't enjoy being together."

Mark ran his fingers through his hair, trying to comprehend what Toby was proposing and how it was now ruining everything. "You want to be fuck buddies," he said. "No emotional attachment whatsoever."

"Well, there's some emotional attachment."

"Why don't we talk about this when you're back in LA?" Mark asked. "I'll pick you up at the airport tomorrow and take you to your place and we'll talk." It wasn't safe talking to Toby on the phone in his own house. This way, no one would be able to overhear them by accident. "How does that sound?"

"That sounds great," Toby said. "See you tomorrow." This time, he was the one to hang up.

Mark lowered the phone, half dreading tomorrow and half looking forward to it. There was a lot more stuff he had to figure out and he needed to do it quick. If he didn't set Toby straight tomorrow, he might as well just forget about making things work with Sean.

He got up and headed back downstairs to start the day.

* * *

With half the week now gone and only a couple of days before Sean, Bob, and Wade left, the day was filled with filming. Mark wanted to get as much done as they could so they wouldn't have to worry about filming the rest of the time they were there. It was great to film videos with his friends, but that wasn't the only reason Mark had invited them out here. He liked hanging with them and moments like these were rare since they all lived so far from each other. They all had as much fun as they could filming then planned to just chill on Saturday, the day before they left.

That night, Mark fell onto his bed, exhausted. Chica jumped onto the bed beside him, curling up as close as she could against him. He was almost asleep when Sean walked into the room, closing the door behind him. Mark lifted his head and turned just as Sean disappeared into the bathroom. Mark nudged Chica with his leg. She wagged her tail for a moment before jumping off the bed and laying down on her own. Mark got up, pulling off his shirt and kicking off his shoes to get dressed for bed.

Once he was finished changing, he heard the shower running. Mark grabbed his phone then sat down on the bed, scrolling through his mentions on Twitter, not surprised that most of everything was "Septiplier" related. It made him think about what Sean had mentioned about announcing that they were together. It would come as a shock to most since he had been saying he was straight all these years. Was he ready to take that step and bring his private life into YouTube? "Big things are coming your way. Soon," he tweeted then put the phone away just as the bathroom door opened and Sean came out, dressed, but his hair was still a bit wet.

"Can we talk?" Mark asked as Sean rummaged around for something in his bag. His hands came out empty as he looked at Mark. "It's about announcing this on YouTube."

"Okay," Sean said as he walked over to sit on the bed with Mark. "If you don't want to do it-"

"I want to."

Sean seemed to like that idea. "Really?" he asked, a smile appearing on his face.

Mark smiled back. "Really," he said with a nod. "I was thinking we could do it Saturday or Sunday before you leave."

"We'll figure that out when we get there," Sean said. "What made you change your mind?"

"I've been thinking long and hard about it," Mark said. "We won't be able to keep our private life private, but if you feel like you don't wanna lie to your fans-"

"If you don't think it's a good idea, we don't have to do it," Sean said. "It won't hurt my feelings one bit and it won't change anything between us. I agree with keeping our private life private, but other YouTubers have made it as couples."

"But we'll be living in two different countries," Mark said, seeing that realization dawn on Sean. "I'm okay with announcing it. You want to do it and this is my way of showing that I support whatever you wanna do."

"You mean it?"

"Yes."

Sean threw his arms around Mark. "Thanks," he said, his breath against Mark's neck. He pulled back. "But if you change your mind between now and-"

Mark cut him off with a kiss. He had made the decision and there was no turning back from it. He knew Sean cared about how he felt, but Mark really wanted to do this. And he was actually excited about telling everyone.

The mood in the room suddenly changed the moment Sean kissed him back. The fact that no one would be knocking on the door with other plans dawned on them both. Sean climbed onto Mark's lap then eased him back to lay down on the bed, all without breaking the kiss. They parted after a moment to sit up and remove shirts before laying back down in a close embrace.

It took a lot of effort on Mark's part to not strip Sean down and fuck him hard like he had done with Toby. Sean was special, so things would be done differently. Mark told himself to not compare Sean with Toby. Mark pushed Toby far from his mind as Sean started grinding against him, the fabric of their pants a barrier between their cocks. Mark couldn't remember the last time he had been so hard.

Sean's moans got Mark to roll them over. It wasn't long before they were both naked. Mark took a hold of Sean's cock and started stroking him, watching Sean writhe in pleasure beneath him. After a few minutes of this, Sean was begging for Mark to fuck him. Mark did as he was told, sliding his cock inside Sean with ease. They found a rhythm and pretty soon Sean was begging him to go faster.

The night was full with them getting to know each other on an intimate level. And before they drifted off to sleep, Mark couldn't help but compare Sean with Toby. One night with Sean was ten times better than that weekend with Toby, but Toby brought out something in him that he didn't know was there. A more aggressive part of him that he was afraid would somehow scare Sean off if he let it out.

He didn't think about the excitement he felt about sneaking around with Toby. Once he talked to Toby tomorrow, that would be sorted out and he wouldn't have to worry about those feelings anymore.

Mark, with his arms firmly around Sean, drifted off to sleep.

* * *

 _Friday_

Mark waited at the airport, anxious about his upcoming talk with Toby. He told the others that he would be back a bit later because Toby wanted to do a collab. After what Mark had planned to say to Toby, he didn't know if Toby would want to do a video with him. And if a video with Toby didn't come out, Mark's friends would wonder why he had been with Toby for so long. Except for Wade, being the only one who knew that something had happened between Mark and Toby last weekend. Mark couldn't let anything go wrong during his talk with Toby.

He didn't see Toby until after Toby had already gotten his luggage. Thankfully, Toby only greeted him with a smile. Mark knew he shouldn't be surprised that Toby was acting as if they were just friends. During the small talk, Mark made sure that they left the airport quickly. He relaxed some once they were in the car and driving off.

"You seem tense," Toby said after a few minutes of silence. "Everything okay?"

Mark was going to wait until they got to Toby's place, but he pulled over and parked then turned to Toby. "Everything is not okay," he said. "Last weekend was great, but you're taking things too far."

"You never said-"

"I never said because I'd rather say some things in person," Mark said. "We both agreed that it wouldn't go any further than the weekend. I admit we had something special, but it ended the second that weekend was over. I'm telling you this now because things have changed for me. I'm not single anymore. And before you think I started dating someone just to get you off my back, I've had this week planned for a while before we hooked up in New York."

"Is it Jack?" Toby had never met Sean, but he had obviously paid attention to Mark's channel.

"Yes."

"I'm glad you found someone."

Mark just sat there for a moment. He hadn't known exactly what he had expected, but this was definitely not it. "You are?" he asked. "You understand that we could never happen?"

"I told you yesterday that we didn't have to commit to each other."

"You also said friends with benefits."

"That offer is still open."

"You're not listening-"

"I know that Jack lives in Ireland," Toby said. "He's leaving pretty soon, right?" Mark nodded. "Long distance relationships are hard. You're gonna feel lonely some nights. And when you do..." His eyes met Mark's. "You know where I live."

* * *

 _Saturday, Sunday_

The last few days went by fast. Mark and Sean didn't do a special vlog to announce they were together. They did a let's play and announced it while they were playing a game. They both promised that they would each have a vlog out explaining everything soon. The fans reactions were mixed with shock and excitement. Surprisingly, not very many people gave them hate for it. Everyone was happy for them both. Mark felt better about announcing it and was relieved he would be able to talk freely about him and Sean.

The last day came. Mark took Sean, Bob, and Wade to the airport and said goodbye. Mark and Sean promised to Skype each other as often as they could. Sean was already planning another visit, but didn't know exactly when yet. They would work that out together over the next few weeks.

Mark headed back home, a little sad that the week was already over, but he was excited about the future.

* * *

 _To be continued..._


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three:** _Make It Right?_

 _JackSepticEye_

"Top of the mornin' to ya, laddies! My name is JackSepticEye and welcome to Reading Your Comments: Markiplier Edition! We were each gonna do a vlog about this particular subject. He might still, I don't know, but I noticed a bunch of comments on YouTube and Twitter about a 'passing remark' that Mark made during our collab together. There was a shit ton of people saying, _'Oh, it's just another one of those Septiplier jokes they pull on us. It isn't real.'_ Some of you believed it and some of you didn't. I've gathered up a bunch of questions and comments about it from YouTube, Twitter, and other media sites and I'm gonna do my best to answer them truthfully and honestly. Just bear with me okay?"

Deep breath. "The first, most popular question is, of course, _'Is this real?'_ To just go out there and say it, yes, it's real. I know it's a lot to take in all at once. After all, so many people have been hoping that it'll happen. It was a bit of a surprise to me, when it happened, because I never would have thought he felt the same way. And to learn that he invited me out there to LA for a week to tell me how he felt...It's a lot for me to take in! He'll come out with his side of the story when his video comes out, but for me...I really didn't expect it to happen the way it did. I have to keep reminding myself that it's real. Anyway, moving on! I don't want to get everything explained with just one question.

 _" 'What brought you to this decision? To get together?'_ Well, my side of this goes way back to when I first started watching Mark. Just like a lot of you guys, you fall in love with him pretty quickly. He just has that affect on some people. When we started making videos together, I started feelin' like there was something special. And that feeling grew and grew the more we collabed together. Then there was the moment we met in person. Mark was already a dear, close friend to me and meeting him in person solidified things. I knew there was nothing that could happen to ruin this friendship. I know we've made a lot of Septiplier jokes since then, but meeting him face to face...that was when I really started falling for him. So...my decision to get together has been there since I met Mark in person. I was just too scared to admit to the feelings and even more afraid to express them. Which was why I was surprised about the reasons behind Mark invited me to LA last week.

" _'I have been waiting for this moment since you two started making videos together. I'm really happy for you both and I wish you the best.'_ Thank you!" Smile.

" _'What exactly happened during your week in LA? You didn't vlog about anything.'_ Sorry I didn't vlog, but so much was going on that I simply didn't think about it. We filmed a ton of shit that'll be coming out within the next few weeks. But what exactly happened in LA was, I hope this doesn't sound cheesy, was magic. I showed up some hours early to surprise Mark and met up with him and Wade at the airport. Bob showed up later that day and we spent the rest of the day resting since we had all just got off a flight, except for Matt and Ryan. The following day was when it got interesting.

"We filmed for most of the day then Matt, Ryan, Bob, and Wade all went out for a movie that evening, leaving me alone with Mark. I was scared shitless at this point. I had this entire confession planned out, but then Mark saved me from that and it just sort of happened. It was a special moment for me. Here was a guy I liked for the past couple of years saying he felt the same way about me. I've never been with a guy before. I've never felt this way until I met Mark. Mark's never been with a guy either, which was one reason it was so surprising. And the fact that he comes across as the straightest guy on YouTube." Chuckle. "I would love to live that night, that week, over again. The fact that it didn't end there just makes me so fucking happy.

"I'm glad a lot of you have accepted that Mark and I are a couple. We were hesitant about saying anything at first, but it felt right to say something to you guys. You're all family, after all. You deserve to know. I've seen that a lot of you are also worried about the long distance relationship thing. Don't worry, Mark and I figured all of that out. Nothing really will change. In fact, nothing might change. We might be a couple now, but we don't really want to flaunt that fact. I ask that you respect our privacy. I hope this clears things up and I hope I didn't say anything out of turn. Keep an eye out for Mark's video. I'll put a link down whenever he posts it.

"That's all for this video. Thanks for watching! If you liked it, punch that like button in the face LIKE A BOSS! And, high fives all around! I will see all you dudes...in the next video!"

* * *

 _Markiplier_

"Hey, guys. I know what a lot of you are expecting out of this vlog and I'm sorry to say that you're just not gonna get what you want. I don't want to sound like a douchebag, but I've said all I've wanted to say about this particular subject. If you want to know more, I'll leave a link to Jack's video in the description below. There's a lot of questions and I wish I could answer them, but I've been thinking about this a lot and I...don't feel right with talking about it. I know you guys want to know and that's fine, but all I can feel right doing is just confirming it. I talked with Jack about this and he was okay with this decision of mine. If you want to know more details, check out his video.

"The only reason you guys know about this is because he wanted you to know. And because I care about him, I allowed it. And because he cares about me, he's allowing my silence of the subject. We're not here to flaunt it. We're just here to be happy. There's a lot I could say about this and I mean a lot, but put yourself in my shoes: if you have someone you care about more than anything in the world, if you had something heartfelt and important to say, would you want an audience to see it? What I have to say is meant for Jack's ears only. And if I said it to literally millions of people right now, it would lose its specialness. You probably have a different opinion on this, and that's fine, but this is how I feel.

"If all you're worried about is my happiness, I don't mind telling you that this is the happiest point of my life right now. Him being halfway around the world doesn't change that fact. We've made a long distance friendship last, so I'm not gonna let anything ruin what we have now. So don't worry about me. Don't worry about us. It's something we have to work on. I hope you respect that decision. You're allowed to not like it.

"And don't expect us to do more videos together or start a 'Septiplier' channel. We'll be throwing out content the same as before. There will hardly be any difference in the videos. I'm sorry if this was short, but that's all I have to say on the matter. Don't forget to check out Jack's video if you're interested. And, as always, I will see you in the next video. Bye bye!"

* * *

Mark uploaded the vlog then sat back in his chair to think about everything he had said. If he wanted to change or add anything, it was too late now. All he was thinking about was the amount of questions about his and Sean's new relationship. Most of everything he received from his fans now were about it since they had come straight from Sean's video. He almost regretted agreeing to announce it. But, someone would have found out eventually. Their content on YouTube wouldn't change, but Mark was planning on Sean coming out to LA more often. Maybe he could even visit Ireland.

That would definitely get him away from Toby.

Mark got up and headed downstairs, trying not to think about Toby, but the talk they had kept springing up in his mind. After that talk, Mark had taken Toby straight home without another word to him. If his friends questioned why he wouldn't have a collab with Toby out soon, he would come up with some excuse when the time came. He just hadn't been able to be around Toby any longer that day. Toby had struck a nerve, hitting Mark where he had been suffering for the last few months: loneliness.

The week with Sean had helped, but the day Sean went back home made his loneliness worse. One reason behind why he didn't want to go into too many details for that vlog. He would have ended up rambling and spilling more things than was proper. And it would have gone on for way too long because he would have ended up describing everything he had been feeling the last few months up until he and Sean got together. He hadn't even told Sean how lonely he had been feeling. In fact, the only people who had an inkling about those feelings were Bob and Wade. Mark had even been hiding it from Matt and Ryan, who lived in the same house!

Mark took Chica outside and sat down by the pool, letting Chica run around. Matt and Ryan were off somewhere working on a video for Kids with Problems, so Mark had the house all to himself for the next few hours. Plenty of time for him to think about things. The feelings of loneliness, that weekend with Toby, the week with Sean...

He jumped, startled, when his phone started ringing. He answered it without checking to see who it was. He just needed anyone to talk to right now before he lost himself in his thoughts. "Hello?"

"Hey." Toby. "Was just wondering if you'd like to collab?"

"This just an excuse to get me to your place?" Mark asked. He wanted to be Toby's friend, but Toby was making it so damn hard. "Why don't you come over here? That way we'll have Chica, Lego, and Banana as chauffeurs."

"All I wanna do is a video."

Mark didn't say anything for a moment, knowing that Toby was being sincere. "All right," he said with a nod. "What time?"

"As soon as you can get over here."

* * *

Mark pulled up to Toby's place, got out of the car, then headed up to the front door. Toby was opening it before he even got there, inviting him in. Mark was slightly hesitant walking in because he was still wary about the reason why Toby wanted to do a video with him. He relaxed when it was strictly business with Toby. They went to Toby's recording studio and filmed a few games. It was just like the last time they had done a video together. The entire time they were filming, Mark forgot about the weekend in New York. It was like there was no other history between them. They came at it like new.

After filming, Toby took Mark out to lunch, eating at the closest fast food place. They ordered and got a table then got to talking about filming more videos together in the future. Something more than just let's plays. Mark was intrigued by this idea because he had been planning to get more sketches out between his gameplay videos. Mark invited Toby to his house anytime to work on a sketch.

Once they were through eating, they went back to Toby's place so Mark could get some footage to edit and upload to his channel. He texted Matt and Ryan, who notified him that they were home, and let them know he would be home in less than an hour. He sat down in Toby's living room while Toby went to get the footage and pack up the camera Mark had brought along. Mark had offered to get his own camera, but Toby insisted on doing it. So, Mark was now relaxing on Toby's couch. He texted Sean, but Sean didn't answer. He was probably busy or asleep. Mark put his phone away and stood as Toby came into the room.

"Thanks," Mark said, taking the camera bag from Toby, who mentioned that the gaming footage was also in the bag. "I had fun today. Do you know when you'll be available to film a sketch?"

"The day after tomorrow," Toby replied. "I've got errands to run tomorrow. What time's a good time for me to be over there?"

"Afternoon or evening," Mark said. "I usually spend my mornings editing or filming."

"I'll call before I show up."

"Thanks," Mark said then started for the door, stopping and turning back when Toby called out for him. "Yeah?"

Toby walked over to him. "I wanted to show you that there's no hard feelings between us," he said. "The last time we talked, you kinda left in a hurry. I'm sorry for what I said, but I did mean it. I'm here for you, Mark. Anytime. You know that, right?"

Mark nodded his head. "And that really means a lot to me," he said. "Today meant a lot to me. After what happened in New York, I didn't think things could just be normal between us. I admit I've been trying to run away from you."

"You had every right to," Toby said. He chuckled. "I was coming off a bit clingy for a while there, wasn't I?" They shared a laugh. "Anytime you want to just hang out, I'll be here. If you ever want to just talk, I'll be ready to listen. Anytime. Hell, if I have time tomorrow we could-"

"Why are you stalling me?" Mark asked, putting the bag down beside the door. "You're being clingy again."

"Can you blame me?"

Mark had the feeling he knew where this was headed. The smart thing to do would be just walking out now, but he didn't move. "I told you-"

"You made an impression on me in New York," Toby said. "I can't help but wonder what things would be like now if that weekend in New York happened before you decided to tell Sean how you felt."

Mark had had that thought on his drive over today, but had quickly pushed it out of his mind. He didn't want to hurt Sean in any way, whether he knew about it or not. "Well, it didn't happen that way," he said.

"I'm happy for you two," Toby said. "But I hate that you're with him. I don't mind admitting that I'm jealous. I can be straightforward with you. I also don't mind telling you that you've been driving me insane today. To have you this close and not touch you..."

"Toby..."

"You probably feel that way toward your boyfriend, right?" Toby said. "You probably can't stand to finally have him and not be able to feel his body against yours every night. That long distance will wear on you. Long distant relationships hardly work out. I know you care about him a lot, but I fail to understand why you'd put yourself through that, living in two different countries halfway across the world from each other."

"You don't need to know why," Mark said. "And I don't feel that way."

"Don't lie to me."

"You've got a lot of nerve-"

"I do," Toby agreed then pushed Mark against the wall and kissed him.

Mark knew what he needed to do, but he didn't do it. He clung tightly to Toby and kissed him back. They stumbled around blindly, leaving a trail of discarded clothing. They aimed for the couch, but ended up on the floor behind it instead. Mark took no time with thrusting himself inside Toby, hearing Toby's moan of protest then pleasure. Protest because he was still hoping to fuck the daylights out of Mark. And pleasure because he enjoyed the feeling of Mark inside him more than anything. Mark knew exactly how to make Toby scream and beg for more.

It was hard and fast and over too soon for Toby, but Mark needed to get home before Matt and Ryan started wondering what was taking him so long. Mark got up to hurriedly get dressed, knowing Toby was still hard. Toby wouldn't stop complaining about it the entire time Mark got dressed. Mark shut him up by grabbing him from behind and jerking him off, getting Toby to cum hard seconds later. Mark left Toby to clean the mess, grabbed his bag, and left.

* * *

Matt and Ryan were playing a video game in the living room when Mark got home. He said hi to them as he passed by, heading upstairs to his room. They didn't catch on to his attitude, leaving him free to not explain his mood. He greeted Chica then closed himself off in the bathroom for the next half hour, showering until the hot water turned cold. Once he was finished and dressed, he sat down at his computer to edit.

Matt usually edited for him, but Mark needed something to do since he didn't have to record anything today. He started working on the video with Toby, but he just kept thinking about what happened before he left Toby's place. He got off the computer and headed downstairs, sitting down on the couch and watching Matt and Ryan play their game.

He texted Sean again. Nothing elaborate, just a 'how you doing' type of text. He realized he needed some sort of interaction or else he would just keep thinking about Toby. If those thoughts continued, he knew he would give in and not walk out the next time he was in a similar position with Toby. He knew what was right, but he was human and he had certain needs just like anyone else.

"Earth to Mark!"

Mark looked up from his phone to see both Matt and Ryan looking at him. "What?" he asked.

Matt held up the controller. "Do you wanna play?" he asked as if he had been asking more than once. From his expression and tone, he had asked way more than once.

"I'm fine with just watching," Mark said. "Think I'll get something to eat." He got to his feet.

"Didn't you just eat lunch?" Ryan asked.

"I'm hungry," Mark said then retreated to the kitchen. He got a snack out of the fridge then sat down at the table. He wasn't there for long before Matt walked over and sat down across from him.

"Ryan and I decided one of us needed to talk to you," Matt said. "We both could've been in here, but I thought it'd be better if it was just one other person." He waited for Mark to say something, but nothing came. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

Matt studied him for a moment. Mark looked away, proving that he was lying, but he didn't really care. "Something happen?" he asked. "You and Jack didn't-"

"Jack and I are fine," Mark said. He looked down at the table then back at Matt. "It's nothing I can't handle."

"Doesn't seem that way," Matt said. "You know you can talk to me."

"Not about this."

"Did Toby say something today?"

"Why do you assume Toby has anything-"

"Because your attitude changed drastically between this morning and now," Matt said. "The only thing you've done today is film some videos with Toby. You spent a couple of hours with him. Anyone's going to assume-"

"I don't want to talk about Toby!" Mark snapped, making Matt flinch slightly. He quickly apologized. "I've just...been going through a lot lately. It's nothing to worry about, really. Just something I've gotta work out on my own."

"You sure?"

Mark nodded his head.

"I know you're lonely," Matt said as he got to his feet. "Jack will be visiting again before you know it. Call him or something. I'm sure he misses you too." He smiled then went back into the living room with Ryan.

Mark watched him go then pulled out his phone to call Sean. After a few rings, he nearly gave up again, but then he heard Sean's voice answering the phone. "Hey, there you are," he said. "I left a couple of texts-"

"There's a bit of a time difference between us, Mark," Sean said with a small laugh. God, it felt nice to hear that. "What's up? Everything okay? There better not be anything wrong."

"Nothing's wrong," Mark assured him. "I just...I just needed to hear from you, that's all."

"Miss me already?" Sean asked. "It's only been a few days."

"Yeah, well, I didn't have time to adjust to things before you left," Mark said, needing to vent but damned if he mentioned anything about Toby. "I miss you, that's all." Sean knew the mindset Mark had been in over the last few months. They had discussed depression, but Mark had felt better the entire time Sean had been in LA. He couldn't completely rule out depression, though. He didn't think it was that bad yet.

"I miss you, too," Sean said. "Need to talk?"

"I don't know," Mark said, feeling guilty for what he had done. The small thrill he felt at sneaking around kept him from saying anything. But, since he wasn't planning on ever getting into that position with Toby again, he wouldn't have to worry about keeping anything from Sean. "Is it possible for you to come here again? Soon?"

"I can't hop back and forth between here and there," Sean said. "And I haven't exactly gotten over the jet lag of this time yet. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to come and see you again, but it's not exactly cheap."

"I could pitch in."

Sean didn't say anything for a moment. "Are you sure?" he asked. "It'll probably be a few weeks before I'm able to go over there again. I don't want to get in the way of anything you might have planned-"

"You wouldn't be in the way of anything," Mark said. The only thing he could possibly be in the way of was whatever was happening between Mark and Toby. And that was one of the reasons Mark needed Sean here so desperately. He hated that he had been unfaithful, but he felt vulnerable right now. "You find the best flight and send me the information and I'll pay for half."

"All right," Sean said. Mark could hear the smile on the other's face. "Looks like I'll be going to LA again! Think you could last a few more weeks without me?"

"I'll try."

* * *

Mark was counting down the days when he'd see Sean again. There was only a few more days left to go. After an annoying two weeks of barely leaving the house, Mark couldn't wait to spend some more time with Sean. And this time Sean would be staying for an entire month. They had skyped almost every night planning everything. They might record a video or two together, but this trip would just be about them. To settle more into their relationship.

The last two weeks hadn't been too hard, since they had skyped a lot, but Toby had also been trying to get in contact with Mark. He hadn't come over to Mark's house yet, but he had left a lot of messages. Mark was afraid to call him back since Toby might invite him over again. Mark had told himself he wouldn't be pulled into that again, but the temptation was too much. Better to just avoid Toby entirely.

Until one evening.

Matt and Ryan had left the house to go apartment looking. They were planning on moving out since Mark was practically the provider and they wanted to spread their wings and move on to new things. They were planning on starting a channel together and even though Mark was saddened to see them leave, he was proud of them and couldn't wait to see what they would accomplish together.

So Mark was home alone to babysit the pets. That wasn't too hard since both of the dogs and cat decided to go to bed early. They curled up in the living room and fell asleep pretty quickly. Mark moving around the house didn't seem to bother them.

Neither did the knock at the door.

Mark peeked out the window to see who it was and wasn't surprised to see Toby standing at his door. Mark sighed then walked over to the door and opened it.

"Hey," Toby said with a small wave of his hand. "Just thought I'd come over. It's not a bad time, is it?"

Mark shook his head, wishing Sean was available tonight to skype so he would have an excuse. "No, come on in," he said, being polite as he opened the door wider and gestured inside. Toby walked in and Mark closed the door. "So...what's up?"

"I haven't heard from you in a while," Toby said. "I-"

"We can't do this anymore," Mark said. "I'm fine being your friend, but I can't risk-"

"That's the reason I came over," Toby said. "You could've found a different way to break the news to me. You keep walking out on me and that doesn't exactly make a guy feel good, you know." He chuckled.

"I had to walk out before I stayed longer," Mark said. "I've been wrestling with some stuff." During the last two weeks, under Sean's suggestion, Mark had gone to see a doctor who diagnosed him with depression. "Mainly loneliness. Whenever I'm with you..." He trailed off, not needing to finish judging by the expression on Toby's face.

"I've been there," Toby said. "Sorry if I made anything worse."

"Thanks," Mark said. He invited Toby further inside and they sat down on the couch. "That really all you came over here for? To tell me not to walk out on you?"

"I just wanted to see how you were doing," Toby said. "Can't blame me for getting a little bit worried when I couldn't get a hold of you for over two weeks." He placed a hand on Mark's knee. "You are doing okay, right?"

Mark nodded. "Jack's gonna be visiting again in a few days," he said. "I'll be fine."

Toby pulled his hand back. Mark didn't miss the flash of jealousy across his face. "That's good," he said, getting to his feet. "I should probably go."

"You just got here."

"I'm not wanted," Toby said then started for the door.

Mark's gut was screaming at him to just let Toby go, but he got up and followed after him. "I've been avoiding you," he said. Toby stopped but didn't turn back. "Because it's so easy to give in. You help me forget about my loneliness. And Sean." Toby finally turned back to him. "You see the problem I'm faced with, right? I can't be with you because..."

"I get it," Toby said with a nod. "But none of that keeps me from not walking out that door." He nodded toward the door, crossing his arms. It was clear he wanted Mark to talk him into staying. If Mark talked him into staying, it proved he didn't care for Sean like he said he did.

"We can't just stop at friends?"

"Not after what happened in New York," Toby said. "Maybe one day, but right now? I don't think it's possible. I've had too much of a taste for you." He smirked. "I hope you and Sean are happy, I really do. Maybe we'll run into each other sometime." He turned and left.

Mark stood there for a long time, telling himself that this was a good thing. He wouldn't have to worry about Toby anymore. But he couldn't help but feel that he had just lost someone very close to his heart.

* * *

 _To be continued..._


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four:** _Make Mistakes_

Mark was at the airport about a half an hour before Sean's plane landed. He had forgotten to upload the morning's video, but his fans were used to him not doing anything on time and at the moment he had something more important on his mind. His boyfriend would be staying with him for a month. He would have Sean within his reach for as long as it took for them to get used to each other before Sean would leave again. Mark wished he could stay forever, but things didn't work that way in the real world. He would learn to cope with rarely seeing Sean in person, but for now he would enjoy Sean's company.

It was easy to spot Sean among the crowd getting off the plane. He was the only one with green hair. Mark waved when Sean spotted him and waved back. Mark lost him in the crowd for a moment, but then he was suddenly there and in Mark's arms. With no hesitation, they greeted each other with a kiss. Most people ignored them. A couple of people looked away in disgust, but a lot of people smiled as they walked by. Mark and Sean didn't care about any of it, they were just happy to be together again.

"Wanna go out for lunch?" Mark asked as they stood around baggage claim waiting for Sean's suitcase. He had had a lot to think about this morning and he decided to come clean and tell Sean everything. He was a bit afraid, but he knew it was the right thing to do.

"I'd've thought you'd want to get me home as soon as possible," Sean said then smirked at Mark. "Or did I read you wrong and you _don't_ want me here that badly?"

"Believe me, I want you here more than anything," Mark said, giving a crisp nod. "I, uh... just need to talk to you. Somewhere away from any distractions."

"So you take me out in public."

"Distractions being Matt and Ryan," Mark said. The two tended to interrupt things, as Sean's last visit had proved. And out in public would keep Sean from making too much of a scene. Hopefully. "But if you don't want to..."

"Going out's fine," Sean said, hooking his arm through Mark's. After that intimate reunion, public affection was easy. "Do I get a hint of what we'll be talking about?"

Mark nearly gave up the wait and confessed everything right then and there, but he held back. "It can wait," he said, now deciding if he should just take Sean home and confess there. Either way, Sean could still walk away from him and never look back. He clasped Sean's hand tightly. A look of curiosity or concern passed over Sean's face, but he didn't say anything.

 _Please let this be easy._

* * *

Mark chose a small diner that wasn't frequented that often by too many people. They sat down in a booth toward the back where it was quiet and they wouldn't be bothered by anyone but the waitress that took their order. They had some idle chit chat, but Mark didn't get to the point until they both had their food before them.

"I have something to confess," Mark said, wondering if that was the best way to start this, but it was already out there. "It's about that weekend when I was in New York City for the YouTube Games."

"The weekend I missed out on," Sean said, acknowledging when it was. He smiled. "I bet that weekend would have gone differently if I had been there."

"Yeah..." Mark said, imagining running into Toby and then going to Sean's room after being locked out of his own. It sure would have been different, but Toby's feelings would have been the same. "I wish you had been there. Would've made this a hell of a lot easier."

Sean slowed down with eating before he stopped altogether. "Mark, what's this all about?" he asked, sitting back in his seat. Mark had his full attention now.

"Something happened that weekend," Mark said. _That I wish I could take back?_ Was that something he wanted to add? If he had never hooked up with Toby, sure, but now... "You know Toby Turner?"

Sean nodded his head. "Never met him, but I know of him," he said. "You did a collab with him not that long ago." It was clear he was piecing something together bit by bit.

"We stayed at the same hotel in New York," Mark explained. He mentally prepared himself for what he said next, but knew it wouldn't be enough. "We were in the same room before the weekend was out."

Sean sat there in silence for a long time. He looked down at his food, picking at it with his fork, but he didn't eat anymore. He looked back at Mark. "So I wasn't your first," he said. Mark had completely forgotten that part of the vlog Sean had filmed about telling their fans about their relationship. "What..." He shifted in his seat. "What exactly happened in New York? You said that you had decided long before then to tell me how you felt. But then..."

"It was just...the heat of the moment," Mark said. "I kinda had a history with Toby a couple of years ago, but that doesn't change how I feel about you."

"And it was before we got together, so I guess I can't really be too upset about it," Sean said. "You weren't mine then."

"I've been with him again after that," Mark said, not feeling any relief about coming clean. In fact, telling Sean everything was starting to make him feel worse. There was a chance he could lose Sean at any moment. "Some time before I invited you out here."

There was no readable expression on Sean's face. There was silence for the longest moment, though it could have been only a few seconds. "How many times?" he asked. There wasn't even any emotion in his voice.

"Just once," Mark said. "It's... kinda the reason I wanted you here so badly. I realized I'm weak. There's a part of me that wants Toby and I hate myself for it. The guilt I've felt... " He shook his head. "I was stupid and I'm sorry."

"It won't happen again?"

"Not as long as we're together."

Sean got up then scooted onto the bench next to Mark. "I'm glad you told me about it," he said. "That makes it a little bit easier to forgive you since I didn't find out on my own. But you're gonna have to live with that guilt. From the way you're talking, that's the worst punishment to give. You'll need to keep apologizing for it until I'm good and ready to forgive you."

Mark was surprised Sean had taken the news so well. "The worst punishment would've been you walking out on me," he said. "I really thought that that was what you were gonna do."

"I'm sure if anyone else knew, that would be what they'd tell me to do," Sean said. "But I can't let you go. That would be punishment on me. I'm already blaming myself for this just a bit."

"Why?"

"I left when you were vulnerable," Sean explained. He took Mark's hand in his own. "We have time to build a firm relationship now. We'll work through this and things will be better between us."

"I really am sorry."

"I know," Sean said then kissed him.

* * *

Helping with the luggage, Mark followed Sean inside when they arrived at the house. They were just about to head upstairs when Sean stopped. Mark looked past him and nearly dropped the suitcase he was holding.

Sitting in the living room with Matt and Ryan, was Toby.

All three stood up when Mark and Sean walked in. Ryan was saying something about the reason Toby was around, but Mark wasn't really listening. All he could think about was the possibility of Sean reading the situation wrong and think Toby was a regular at Mark's house. Sean would start doubting Mark's earlier confession and decide Mark wasn't worth staying with.

All those thoughts were wiped away when Sean turned to him. "Tend to your guest, I'll settle in upstairs," he said, taking the suitcase from Mark's hands. Before he went upstairs, he kissed Mark in a way that wasn't appropriate for public. It was clearly Sean marking his territory. He winked at Mark then headed upstairs.

Matt cleared his throat, speaking for the rest of them how uncomfortable that had been to watch. Mark couldn't read the expression on Toby's face. It wasn't exactly jealousy, but it might turn out that way eventually.

Toby stepped toward Mark. "I just came by to drop something off," he said. "Something you left at my house." In other words, something random he just grabbed to have an excuse to come over. "I was just on my way out." He started past Mark.

"I'll walk you to your car," Mark said, unable to think of any other excuse to talk privately. Matt and Ryan didn't seem to care. They just sat down and went back to whatever they had been doing. Mark followed Toby out.

Neither of them said anything until they were at Toby's car that was parked across the street. Toby turned to him before getting in. "I came over because I didn't believe you were actually gonna have him over," he said, gesturing toward the house. "I didn't want to believe you. I wanted to believe you were just making excuses."

"I wouldn't do that," Mark said. "I've been trying to come up with an excuse so we can still be friends."

Toby smirked. "So you're gonna pull that again."

"I don't know why you're so against it."

"You know why," Toby said with a nod. "You know."

"Sorry it had to be this way."

"Are you?"

"What do you mean?"

"You can tell him you invited him because you were lonely all you want," Toby said. "You invited him because of me. What we have."

"Had, Toby," Mark corrected, giving him a _you better be careful_ look. "I don't want to get into this every time I see you."

"At least you're not cutting me out of your life."

"Apparently it's the other way around."

"Tell him I said hi," Toby said. He opened the door and got in the car. He started it up then rolled down the window and looked at Mark. "You're welcome at my place anytime. Maybe we can work on being friends."

"Maybe," Mark said, knowing the only reason Toby wanted him over. He didn't have to say anything to let Toby know that he wouldn't be over at Toby's place anytime soon. "Bye, Toby."

"Bye forever?"

"Only if you want it to be."

Toby paused for a moment then nodded his head and drove off.

* * *

Mark headed upstairs to find Sean unpacking in his bedroom. Mark had made sure Sean had plenty of space to store things so he wouldn't be living out of his suitcase while he was here. He wanted Sean to feel at home as possible. Mark crept forward silently then wrapped his arms around Sean from behind. Sean jumped, startled, but otherwise didn't stop unpacking.

"You have plenty of time to unpack," Mark said, one hand traveling down Sean's stomach to his belt. "This is the time to unwind."

Sean said the one thing that spoiled the mood: "What'd Toby want?"

Mark released Sean then sat down on the bed to face him. "He dropped something off that I left at his place," he said. Sean stopped and gave him a look. "Get your mind out of the gutter. It was part of my camera equipment that I took over there to film a collab."

"That the only thing you filmed?"

"If I filmed _that_ it would be in this bedroom with you," Mark said. He thought about telling Sean the real reason Toby had come over, but he didn't want to talk about Toby. "I'm not into that sort of thing anyway. I'd feel too weird watching it again."

"I think it'd be hot," Sean said, all of his attention on unpacking.

"Oh?" Mark asked, interested. "Is this the delving into Jack's deepest darkest secrets time?"

Sean purposely didn't look at him. "Seeing you naked on a screen?" he said. "Almost as good as seeing it in person."

"Watch out," Mark warned. "You're going to get excessive dick pics in the future." He grinned when Sean rolled his eyes and turn away to put his clothes away. He became serious when Sean fell silent while he finished unpacking. "Say what's on your mind."

"What?" Sean asked as he walked over to the closet, storing his now empty suitcase. He closed the closet then turned back to face Mark, not moving back toward the bed. "You don't want to hear it."

"Maybe," Mark said, looking down then over at Sean. "What if I deserve to hear it?"

"I just want to forget it ever happened," Sean said. He walked over to the bedroom door and closed it. Which meant one of two things could happen. "But I won't be able to, will I?" Sex could be marked off as one of the things to happen.

"It's the fact Toby was here, wasn't it?" Mark said, though he knew he didn't have to ask.

"Did he know I was coming?" Sean asked. Mark just nodded. "Did he know when?" Mark shook his head. "What would have happened if I didn't show up today, but he still did?"

"He wouldn't have tried anything here with Matt and Ryan being nearby," Mark said, kicking himself mentally when he realized that that probably wasn't the answer Sean wanted to hear. "I didn't invite him over, if that was what you were wondering."

"No," Sean said, crossing his arms. "He just happened to stop by, conveniently returning something you 'left.' "

"What's with the third degree?" Mark asked, standing and turning to face Sean more. "You were fine back at the diner."

"That was before..." Sean didn't finish the sentence. He looked away from Mark, seeming to think before he spoke. After what felt like an eternity, he finally looked back at Mark. "It was just... seeing the way he looks at you."

"It means nothing."

"It means something, apparently or else he wouldn't have been here," Sean said. He uncrossed his arms then walked over to stand in front of Mark. "I know you came clean about everything and I know you really are sorry for what you did. But... did you tell me all the little details? How does he feel about you? Did he tell you..."

Mark knew where this was going. "He created an infatuation with me because I was a friend to him in New York," he said. "I didn't mean for it to get any further than just friends. Not too sure what we had, but love wasn't it."

Sean looked a little relieved. "Good," he said. "So you don't...?"

"No."

"Then why'd you walk him out to his car?"

Mark didn't know how Sean would feel about him trying to stay friends with Toby after everything that happened. Sean should know that Mark couldn't cut someone out of his life like that. "I wanted to see where we stood," he said. "As friends."

"Friends?"

"He says we're not," Mark said. "At least, he says he's against the idea of us remaining friends."

"Because of what you had," Sean said. "It may not be love at your end, but his side of things says otherwise."

"It means nothing," Mark said again. "I can't change the way someone feels about me. I just don't want it to get between us."

"You're gonna have to keep proving it means nothing," Sean said. "There was something that passed between you two downstairs. Subtle, but I still got that feeling. He brings something out in you. Something you might be holding back from me."

Mark stepped forward, standing inches away from Sean. "I won't hold anything back from you," he said. He put one hand on the back of Sean's neck as he took another step forward, bodies pressed together. "I can prove that right here... right now."

Sean gave a little grin then pulled Mark toward him for a kiss.

* * *

 _Mark let out a groan as he was shoved face first against the wall. His hands reached out to cling for something, but found nothing. He let out another groan of pain mixed with pleasure as he felt himself being entered. He squeezed his eyes shut, his moans turning to screams as he was fucked. He pounded against the wall, Toby's name escaping his lips. In response, Toby wrapped his arms around Mark's chest, holding him close, whispering into Mark's ear._

 _"I can please you like he can't... I can take you the way you want... Scream my name... You're nothing more than mine..."_

 _Mark's breath caught in his throat as Toby grabbed his cock and slowly start stroking it. Mark's knees grew weak. He thrusted his hips back against Toby's cock, taking him deeper with every thrust. Toby moaned in Mark's ear as he thrusted faster, fucking Mark even as he started to cum. Mark threw his head back and moaned, moving so he was fucking himself on Toby's now limp cock and Toby's hand._

 _"You won't get me out of your head... I'm the one you really want... You love the way my dick feels inside you... Throbbing and cumming... The size stretching you... Cum for me, bitch."_

Mark was startled awake, breathing heavily. He panicked a bit when he felt an arm around him then relaxed when he heard Sean's voice: "Nightmare? Your heart's pounding like crazy."

Mark took a few deep breaths to settle himself down. "Yeah," he mumbled then crawled out of bed. "I need to use the bathroom." He hurried into the bathroom then closed and locked the door.

He stood at the sink for a few minutes then looked down, seeing that he was still hard. He fondled himself then slipped his hand into his shorts, feeling that he had already cum once. He quickly jerked himself off, clenching his teeth as he came. He washed up and changed his shorts then went back to bed.

* * *

Mark was alone when he woke up the next morning. He rolled out of bed, pulled on some sweatpants and his lucky flannel, then headed downstairs. He walked into the kitchen for breakfast, seeing Sean at the table with Matt and Ryan, eating waffles that smelled delicious.

"Hey, Mark, we've got some great news," Matt said as Mark helped himself to some waffles. "We've got the apartment!"

"What? That's awesome!" Mark said as he sat down at the table as close to Sean as he could. He rested his arm on the back of Sean's chair, aware that Sean leaned toward him slightly as he did so. "So you'll be outta here in the next few days?" He hadn't really thought about it beforehand, but now he realized he would have an entire house to himself once Sean went back home. He pushed that out of his mind and chose not to dwell on it.

"We'll be moving some things tomorrow and setting some things up," Matt said. He gestured to Sean. "Jack volunteered to help us out, so he'll be staying over tomorrow night."

"Why?" Mark asked then looked at Sean, who just shrugged. He looked back at Matt. "When I volunteered, you said you didn't need any help."

"It's a test, Mark," Sean said.

Mark looked back at him. "A test?" he asked.

"I told them about you and Toby," Sean said, placing a hand on Mark's leg when Mark leaned away from him, a question dying on his lips. "I suggested to do this a bit later, but they insisted that the earlier the better." He glanced toward Matt and Ryan once. "If you can get through the night without straying-"

"This is a fucking trust exercise?" Mark asked. He wasn't pissed off because he wasn't too sure how to even take this. It didn't make any sense. "What're you gonna do? Invite Toby here? How would you even know-"

"We're not inviting Toby here," Sean said. "It's to make sure you don't go to him."

"Again, how would you know if I go to him or not?" Mark asked. "I don't have to spend the night. I could come back home, pretend nothing happened. You just assume you can trust me."

"I do assume that," Sean said, with a look that asked _can I trust you?_ "Which is why Ryan is gonna stay here the night. Don't jump to conclusions before I even finish." He hadn't moved his hand from Mark's leg. "Ryan's gonna be sleeping on the couch so you'd _have_ to walk past him coming down the stairs."

"He's gonna regret having to sleep on the couch all night," Mark said, wrapping his arm around Sean. "Because there's no way in hell I'm going anywhere tonight."

* * *

Mark spent almost the entire day, teasing Matt and Ryan about how they were stealing Sean away from him. Once they left, Mark busied himself with recording and editing. He could understand the reason for the "test," but he didn't have to like it. He knew he could pass it, but he was going to do it to prove to Sean that he could still be trusted. It hurt that Sean couldn't trust him, but Mark couldn't blame him for that. He would feel the same if he was in Sean's shoes.

Finishing up with editing, Mark took Chica downstairs then out the back door. As she bounced around playing, he sat down on one of the chairs by the pool, taking his phone out to text Sean. Before he could, his phone started ringing. It was Toby. With a slight hesitation, Mark answered the phone. "Hello?"

"Hey," Toby said. "I was just wondering if you'd like to do another collab. My audience can't get enough of you."

Mark could tell that the offer was sincere, but had the feeling Toby had something else planned for after. He would be lying if he told himself he wasn't tempted to give in to Toby again. "Just your audience?" he asked. "This better not be an excuse."

"Totally platonic," Toby promised. "Can you come over?"

Mark knew what everyone would say if he told them where he would be. He couldn't believe he was even considering accepting the invitation. "I can't right now," he said. "How about later tonight?" He knew he should think twice about doing this, but he wanted to remain friends with Toby, so he was going to have to trust him. It wasn't straying if he would make sure it stayed platonic.

"How much later?"

"Around ten?"

Toby was silent for a moment, obviously thinking about the fact that Mark would be at his place in the middle of the night. "Your intentions are clear to me," he said. "See you then." He hung up before Mark could say anything.

* * *

Later that night, Mark snuck down the stairs, moving slow past Ryan on the couch as he unlocked the door and stepped outside. A guilty feeling passed over him and he nearly turned back, but pushed it out of his mind and kept on going. He still felt guilty when he arrived at Toby's place, but he didn't let it show. He checked his phone and saw that it was nearly midnight. A bit later than he intended, but knew Toby would wait up for him. And that was proved when Toby answered the door a minute later and invited him in.

"Filming this late normal for you?" Toby asked as they gathered in the living room. Neither one of them sat down and Toby didn't suggest it. "Is it appropriate to announce that the collab was just an excuse?"

"If I had come over with the same intentions," Mark said. He took a step back, creating more distance between them. "I need to prove to myself that there's nothing but friendship between us. I need to trust that nothing is going to happen whenever I'm here."

"Prove to yourself?" Toby asked. He walked over to the couch and sat down, still facing Mark. "You don't need to prove anything to Sean?"

"If I'm still at my house in the morning, that's enough for him," Mark said.

"But not for you."

"Can't you just pretend to help me out here?" Mark asked. "If you care so much about me-"

"I should just sit back and watch you make a life with Sean?" Toby asked. "When I had you first?"

"You didn't," Mark said. "I had already decided to tell Sean how I felt when we hooked up. You've never had me."

"I wasn't talking about New York," Toby said. "I had you before you even met Sean."

Mark fell silent, thinking back to that day two years ago when they had collabed together. He couldn't remember the reason Toby had asked him over. At the time, TobyGames had been a huge thing and Mark had been starting off in LA. He had ignored the thoughts and feelings then, but now knew that something small had been between them back then. Something neither of them had let go.

"Why do you think you even showed up at my hotel room that night?" Toby asked. "You could have easily gone downstairs for a new key, someone would have been there. You could've called your friend. Instead, you came to me. Because I've got a hold over you."

"Go to hell."

"Getting defensive proves I'm right."

Mark opened his mouth to say something then bit back a retort. He looked toward the door, knowing the best thing to do was walk away, but he felt like he had unfinished business here. He also had the feeling that that unfinished business would stay that way. He looked back at Toby. "I went to you that night because it was convenient," he said. "I didn't want to have to worry about waiting around for another key. I could've called Wade, but he wasn't even staying in the same hotel. But if you remember: nothing happened that night. It shouldn't have happened the next morning, but it probably would have even if I had stayed in my own room. You would have shown up there."

"So, no matter what, it would have happened anyway?" Toby asked. "What if Sean had been there?"

"Sean would have been in a different hotel as well."

Toby stood up and walked toward him. Mark backed up, but a wall kept him from getting too far. "Would you have gone to that different hotel?" Toby asked.

Mark had thought about this several times, so a nod came easily. He couldn't read the expression on Toby's face. "I would've been with him all weekend," he said. "You were only a weekend fling."

"What about when you came over here?" Toby asked. "When we fucked behind that couch." He gestured behind him, moving closer to Mark as he did so. He was trying to get a reaction. Mark wouldn't be human if he felt absolutely nothing. "Does Sean challenge your dominance? Or does he just take it?"

The dream Mark had the night before popped into his head. Like then, his heart started pounding like crazy. He didn't realize his breath caught in his throat until he took one, uttering what sounded like a gasp. Toby grinned then moved closer. Coming here had been a bad idea. Especially after having the dream he had. All he could think about now was that and the way he felt as Toby had fucked him. Some people would probably accuse him of thinking with the wrong head.

He grabbed Toby and kissed him hard. Toby reacted by pressing against him and kissing him back. Mark groaned against Toby's lips as he felt Toby's hand slip down the front of his pants and start stroking his cock. It had already been semi-erect, so Toby easily brought it to full length. Toby grabbed Mark's dick, pulling on it to lead Mark as he headed for the stairs.

They stumbled up the stairs, pulling off each other's clothes, leaving a trail all the way to the bedroom. Toby was on top when they collapsed onto the bed. Mark thought Toby would try to get inside Mark, but instead, he guided Mark's cock into himself and started to ride him. The bed creaked underneath them, but the sound was soon drowned out by Toby's moans. He bounced up and down on Mark's cock, saying something but Mark didn't fully understand at first until Toby was whispering it into his ear.

"I've dreamed about this moment," Toby whispered, moaning between words. "But it always started with you dumping Sean. He can't make you feel the way I make you feel."

Mark rolled them over so he was on top, buried balls deep between Toby's legs. "You're right," he said as he moved his hips. "He makes me feel so much better." He grabbed a handful of Toby's hair as he started thrusting faster and harder. Toby seemed to ignored Mark's words, moaning Mark's name and urging him to keep fucking him.

As Mark moved, he realized how much he didn't feel right now. Sure, he felt the sexual desire, but it wasn't for Toby. When he closed his eyes, it was Sean beneath him, moaning Mark's name. Mark came almost at once, biting back Sean's name.

Mark didn't know how much time passed before they both passed out from exhaustion.

* * *

Early the next morning, Mark woke up disoriented then rolled out of bed when he realized where he was. The fact that Toby wasn't there made him pause for a moment, but then he didn't recognize the bedroom. He grabbed his clothes, getting dressed as he followed the trail of discarded items. Fully dressed and downstairs, he heard Toby moving around in the kitchen. Mark took a step toward the kitchen, but then remembered Ryan and turned and headed out the door.

He stopped to grab some breakfast to bring home just in case Ryan caught him walking in through the front door. Which was a lucky move. When he walked in, he saw Ryan sitting on the stairs, looking a bit panicked. When he saw Mark, he jumped to his feet quickly. "What the fuck are you doing?!" he asked.

"Breakfast," Mark said, holding up the bag then started for the kitchen. He was glad he had changed clothes before going to Toby's. He didn't want to have to come up with something explaining that. "I was gonna wake you before I left, but you looked so peaceful asleep."

Ryan followed him into the kitchen. "Have you checked Twitter lately?" he asked.

"No," Mark said, putting the bag down on the table. He paused then looked at Ryan, realizing that Ryan hadn't asked where he had been. "Why?"

Ryan held up his phone to a picture of Mark asleep in bed. He wouldn't have thought anything of it if that was it. But Toby had made sure to be in the picture. "He deleted the post about a minute after posting it," Ryan said. "But it was long enough to get around. Especially the video." He pulled his phone back to bring up the video then handed it over to Mark.

The camera was at first on him sleeping then Toby put himself in the shot. He didn't say anything, but smile. And that was it. "I'm fucked," he said, handing the phone back. "Have you heard from Matt and Sean?" Ryan just shook his head. Mark uttered a few more curse words then sat down. "I'm an idiot."

"Can't argue with that one," Ryan said. "I'm your friend and I love you, but I can't defend you with something like this. Especially since last night had been a test to see if you could still be trusted."

"I know," Mark said. "I don't need to hear that." He wondered if it would be better to call Sean first, but what could he say? That it was all a misunderstanding? That it was fake? "Toby, you dick."

"They're probably on their way here now."

Mark nodded then looked up at Ryan. "You probably don't wanna be here when Sean gets here," he said. "Could you and Matt-"

"Way ahead of you on that one," Ryan said. "When Sean kills you, I call dibs on your YouTube channel."

"If Sean doesn't decide to delete everything there, you can have it," Mark said, not knowing why he was so calm about this. He had a feeling of dread, but he was still hoping he could talk to Sean and fix everything. "Is it right to wish me luck?"

Ryan shook his head. "I'm afraid I'm entirely on Sean's side with this," he said then turned and left the room.

* * *

 _To be continued..._


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five:** _Nothing's Ever Easy_

Mark was sitting at the kitchen table when he heard the front door open then close. Matt had picked up Ryan as he dropped Sean off, so the two were completely alone. Mark had made some coffee, but he had let it get cold just sitting there in front of him. His phone was by the mug, the picture Toby had posted there, but he quickly closed out of it when he heard Sean walk in and stop. He didn't look up from the table for a long moment. Sean didn't say anything until Mark looked at him.

"I thought I could trust you," Sean said. It looked like he had been crying and it broke Mark that he couldn't go to him. Sean would only push him away. The distance between them was probably for the best. "You said, as long as we're together, it wouldn't happen again. That there was no way in hell-"

"I fucked up," Mark said. "I fucked everything up."

"That's all you have to say?" Sean asked. "From what I heard from Ryan a little while ago, you were acting as if nothing had even happened. You wouldn't have said anything if Toby hadn't posted anything, would you?" Mark looked back down at the table. There was a crack in Sean's voice as he spoke: "You...asshole. Do you regret what you did? I bet you just regret it because you got caught." He turned and left. Mark heard him heading up the stairs.

Mark wanted to go after him. He wanted to fall to his knees and beg for forgiveness, but he didn't deserve it. Sean would never forgive him anyway. The only thing he could do was sit by and watch as Sean walked out of his life. The tickets they had bought together were good for any day between now and the end of the month. Sean could leave whenever he wanted to. And that time was now. After only a few days. All because Mark acted with his dick instead of his heart.

When he heard Sean coming back down the stairs, Mark got up and left the kitchen. He hurried into the living room, but Sean had already walked out the door. He told himself to go after him, but he couldn't move. He found himself dropping to the floor, feeling like his heart was shattering. Within the next few hours, Sean would be out of his life. Probably forever.

Mark laid down on his side, crying for what seemed like an eternity.

* * *

When Mark finally got up, he was stiff from laying on the floor for so long. The only reason he had gotten up was because he had thought long and hard about what he had done. And what he was about to lose. He couldn't let it end this way. He hated that it was ending, but not like this. He checked the time, seeing that he still had time to catch Sean at the airport. He grabbed his keys then ran out the door, jumping into his car. "Don't let me be too late," he mumbled to himself then started the car and drove off.

Arriving at the airport, Mark jumped out of his car and ran full tilt toward the entrance of the airport terminal. He only had a few minutes before Sean's plane started boarding. He didn't know how long after that before the plane took off. He just knew that he needed to see Sean between now and then. He bumped his shoulder against the automatic door when it slid open at his approach. He skidded to a halt inside, looking around before he ran off again. Fortunately, he knew what flight Sean would be on. He had paid for half the ticket, after all.

When he got to the right gate, he was stopped by a woman who wanted to see his ticket. He argued with her for a short moment, trying to explain his situation. When she asked for an ID, he tossed her his wallet then pushed past her and carried on. Dimly, he could hear her calling security and then yelling out to anyone to stop him. Mark picked up his pace, noticing a few security guards heading his way already. He dodged them in the crowd, looking for Sean as he shoved forward. He finally spotted the green-haired head. "Jack!" he called out, but Sean didn't react.

Suddenly there was an opening between the crowd. Sean was straight ahead. Before he could move forward, Mark was grabbed by the security guards, who started dragging him backward. "Sean!" he cried out, planting his feet firmly when he saw Sean look around then turn back and spot him.

"Mark?" Sean asked, turning and walking toward Mark and the security guards, stopping a few feet away. "What the hell are you doing here?"

From one of the security guards' earpieces, Mark heard: _"Let him go, but keep an eye on him. If he says what he came here to say and leaves, then let him off with a warning."_ The security guards let him go, but he didn't press his luck and step forward. He remained where he was.

"We need to talk," Mark said, his attention solely on Sean now.

"Oh, _now_ you want to talk?" Sean asked. "I have a plane to catch." He held up his ticket then turned and started back in the direction he had been going.

"I fucked up," Mark said, surprised when Sean stopped and turned back. "I lied and cheated and that makes me a horrible person. What I did was wrong and I'm sorry."

"An apology won't make up for what you did," Sean said. The same anger Mark had seen in Sean's eyes at the house was still there. "Admitting that you regret it, maybe. Though, the fact that you didn't tell him no proves you don't regret it."

"I didn't mean-"

"Don't pull that bullshit on me, Mark," Sean said. "Like hell you didn't mean to do it. I hate the fact that I believed you. That you made me believe you."

"Jack-"

"Go and enjoy your new boyfriend," Sean said. "You two seemed happy together."

"Don't make it where I have to say goodbye."

"You should have thought of that before Toby invited you over."

"Sean…"

Sean lifted his hand, brushing a single tear away. "Goodbye, Mark," he said then turned and walked away. Mark stepped forward, but a hand was placed on his shoulder, stopping him. He had to watch as Sean walked away.

Mark was escorted back to the main terminal and left with a warning. He walked over to the seats where everyone was sitting or standing, watching as the planes took off and landed. He walked over to the window, turned around and leaned back against it, taking his phone out, opening the camera accidentally. He grumbled under his breath when he started recording a video by mistake. He paused before hitting stop when, through the camera he saw through the window behind him two planes crash into each other.

He turned around, his phone slipping through his fingers and dropping to the floor. There were shouts and wails as people crowded against the windows to view what was happening. It was plain to hear that most of the people there had someone they knew on those two planes. Mark was glued to the spot, becoming numb all over.

Sean had been on one of those planes.

* * *

It was twelve hours later. Around three in the morning and Mark was still at the airport. The place was crowded with people, police, firemen, and medics. They were still clearing out the wreckage of the two planes. No news had been brought to anyone about the passengers. Mark was sitting in the corner on the floor against the wall, his phone clutched in his hands. It had died a while ago, so he wouldn't know or care if anyone had been trying to get a hold of him.

"Mark! Thank god!" Matt and Ryan came over as Mark got to his feet. He didn't say anything as the two embraced him, telling him that everyone had been worried about him. "This was the last place we called," Matt said. "Someone was lucky enough to have your ID to let us know that you were here." Mark had forgotten that he had given his wallet away.

"Has there been any news…?" Ryan trailed off, gesturing toward the sight outside. Mark turned his head, seeing what was left of the planes. He just shook his head. From the expressions on the boys' faces, they knew Sean had been on one of the planes.

Matt took Mark's phone. "I'll go charge this," he said. He squeezed Mark's arm, looked at Ryan, then walked off.

"You okay?" Ryan asked. "It's just a matter of time before-"

"I've had one image in my mind for the last twelve hours," Mark said. He hadn't felt anything for the last twelve hours because he still refused to accept the fact. "He said goodbye then walked away."

Ryan didn't know what to say.

* * *

Matt found a free spot and plugged up Mark's phone, waiting for it to come on. When it did, he found that the camera was still open. There was a three hour video on Mark's phone, which explained why it had died. Out of curiosity, Matt started the video, his heart breaking when he saw the planes collide over Mark's shoulder. He skipped through the video, seeing Mark's descent into numbness whenever he stopped. He closed it out and put the phone down, knowing how much Mark needed them now more than ever.

* * *

Matt and Ryan had taken Mark home around five. They still hadn't heard anything about Sean. Mark had just wanted to get away from it all. The more time passed by, the more real it became. He still wanted to believe Sean was okay. He headed upstairs to his room as they walked in, merely nodded when they said they were going to stay over. He closed himself up in his room and crawled into bed. A few minutes later, he was crawling into the bed of the guest room when his own bed smelled too much like Sean.

He fell asleep quickly, but woke up a few hours later after dreaming about Sean saying goodbye and walking away. In the dream, Sean died. Mark laid there awake for an hour, just staring at the ceiling. He didn't move when he heard a light knock on the door.

"Mark?" It was Ryan. "There was a phone call a few minutes ago. About the accident."

Mark was afraid of what he would hear, but forced himself to sit up and look at Ryan. "Did they say what happened?"

"One of the pilots had a heart attack," Ryan said, looking as if he didn't want to tell Mark anything even though he knew he needed to. "No one noticed at first until the plane drifted in front of another plane that was landing. They tried to turn away or stop, but there was nothing they could do. Six passengers died. The rest are at the hospital."

Mark abruptly jumped to his feet and ran past Ryan and down the stairs. He heard Ryan calling out for him then Matt asking what was wrong. Matt was closing the door as Mark started to open it. Ryan came down the stairs behind him.

"What if he's one of the six?" Ryan asked.

Mark remained standing, facing the door, his hand on the doorknob. "I won't believe that," he said. "If you saw what I saw... If you knew how I felt..." He looked at Ryan. "He _has_ to be alive."

Both Matt and Ryan were silent for a long moment then Matt stepped away from the door. Mark turned away and left.

* * *

Walking into the hospital, Mark wasn't surprised by the amount of people there. The place was crowded and everyone was talking about the accident. He had to look away when he noticed a few people that were clearly the loved ones of some of those six passengers that were killed. He pushed through some people and walked up to the front desk. He asked about Sean, but no one would tell him anything. He was even told to wait like everyone else. He tried, but the place was just getting to him. He got up and left.

Sitting out in his car, he didn't feel like going home. Matt and Ryan would be there, he knew. He also knew they were only going to be talking about yesterday. And if they didn't mention the accident, they would bring up Toby. Maybe not on purpose, but what else could they all talk about? They couldn't act like nothing had happened. They couldn't go back to normal.

Mark started the car and drove off. A few minutes later, he found himself parked in front of Toby's house. He sat there for a moment then got out and started for the door. He knocked loudly, his anger rising. It was Toby's fault that this was happening. Mark was going to give him a piece of his mind.

Ten minutes passed and Mark was still standing at Toby's door. At this point, his anger had abated and had come to terms with the fact that it wasn't Toby's fault but his own. He could have easily stopped his affair with Toby a long time ago. He knocked again, startled when Toby opened the door almost immediately. Mark pushed past him and stepped inside. Toby closed the door behind him.

"I came here for a reason," Mark said as he turned to Toby. "Which I had plenty of time to think about while standing on your doorstep for about ten minutes. I was going to come in here and give you a real piece of my mind, but then decided you didn't deserve it. You were partly at fault, but as you said, you had me first two years ago, so you had the right to fight for me."

Toby looked confused for a moment. "So... why are you here?" he asked.

"I don't wanna go home right now," Mark said. "I don't want to feel anything right now, so after I decided not to bitch at you, I decided I wanted to lose myself in something, at least for a little while."

Toby got where this was leading. "You want to use me to forget whatever troubles you're in?" he asked.

"You don't have to look at it that way," Mark said, walking closer to Toby. "I'm giving you what you want." He pulled off his shirt and threw it to the side. He started unfastening his jeans. "Just let me forget..." He trailed off when Toby placed his hands on Mark's, stopping him. He looked up at Toby.

"Sean's fine," Toby said. "But in a coma. They're flying him back to Ireland for better care." Mark found he couldn't say anything. Toby pulled something out of his pocket and held it up in front of Mark.

Mark looked at it and saw that it was a plane ticket to Ireland. Along with papers for Mark to stay overseas for a few months. He still didn't know what to say and just stood there, staring at the documents.

"I posted what I did to make Sean leave so I could move in," Toby said. "But when I heard what happened...it got me thinking. And I realized I've been in the wrong. I shouldn't've pushed. I should've abided by your wishes to just stay friends. I'm sorry." He placed the documents in Mark's hands.

Mark looked down at the documents then back at Toby. "Are you...serious about this?" he asked.

Toby nodded. "I know where you'd rather be," he said. "No matter how tempting your offer is, I think you should go home and get ready for your flight."

Mark grabbed his shirt. "Thanks, Toby," he said, putting it back on. "For more than just this." He held up the documents. "Just wish you had realized all this sooner."

"Honestly? Me too."

Mark hesitated a moment then walked past Toby and left.

 _To be continued..._


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six:** _Something's Always Difficult_

When Mark arrived back at his house, he wasn't surprised to see Matt and Ryan's car parked there. He grabbed the papers off the passenger's seat then got out of the car and headed inside. They were sitting on the couch, waiting for him. Probably to ask if he had seen Sean or heard any word about him. But, they didn't say anything and he didn't offer anything. He just turned and headed upstairs to his room.

Chica was laying on the bed when he walked in, but jumped down and ran to him when she saw him. He gave her a pat on the head then fished out a suitcase from the closet. He set it on the bed along with the plane ticket and things Toby had given him. He walked over to the dresser just as Ryan walked into the room. He didn't have to look to know that Matt would be waiting right outside the room. Mark had an ambushed feeling, but there was nothing he could do about it.

"What happened at the hospital?" Ryan asked, walking over to the bed. He muttered a curse and Mark turned to see him holding the plane ticket. Ryan looked at Mark. "Are you serious? After all that's happened you're still running to Toby?" He held up the ticket. "And leaving with him?"

Mark understood why he would jump to that conclusion. Toby had bought the ticket, after all. "It's just one ticket," he said, walking over to the bed to place the items he had gathered inside. He took the ticket from Ryan and placed it back down on the bed with everything else. "He's getting me to Ireland. He found out Sean's getting flown back for better care. He's in a coma right now." He walked back over to the dresser, noticing Matt walk in out of the corner of his eye.

"Toby's paying for you to go to Ireland to see Sean?" Matt asked, looking just as confused as he sounded. "After going through all that trouble of getting Sean out of the picture?"

Mark started to deny that that hadn't been Toby's intentions, but that would be a lie. "He didn't know what was going to happen," he said. "He realized what he was doing was wrong. But if you're going to blame anyone, blame me. Sean wouldn't have left if I had just said no." He looked away from them and went back to packing. He wasn't too sure what to bring since he didn't know how long he'd be gone, but he wanted to try and be prepared for anything.

"If Sean pulls through," Ryan said after a few minutes of silence. "Are you hoping he'll take you back?"

Mark stopped what he was doing and turned to them. "I'm not gonna lie," he said. "I'll be hoping that, but I know it won't happen. And I know I don't deserve it. He already forgave me once for what I did and I went behind his back and did it again. I'll be lucky if we remain friends. He won't want to see me. I just have to try because it can't end like this." He didn't want to imagine if Sean didn't pull through. That was probably denial, but he couldn't look at this any other way. He _had_ to tell himself that Sean was going to pull through and things would be all right. Even if Sean never spoke to him again.

"You understand why we won't wish you good luck with that, right?" Ryan asked. "I was gonna say it's nothing personal, but it really is. You should just back off and leave Sean be. He's better off without you."

"I know," Mark said. "But I gotta do this."

"Then good luck," Matt said. Ryan gave him a look, but Matt ignored him.

Mark looked at Matt. "Thanks," he said. "To be honest, I was expecting you guys to ambush me and make me stay."

"That was the plan," Matt said. "But, I feel that people deserve a second chance. In your case, a lot of second chances, but I think you should go anyway. Even if he doesn't want to see you, he deserves to hear something from you."

"Thanks for understanding," Mark said even though Ryan was against this. "I'll understand if you guys never want to see me again. It may not have been as personal with you two, but you still got pulled into it."

"Just go," Ryan said before he turned and walked out of the room. If hurt that Ryan practically hated him right now, but Mark could deal with that. Maybe one day things would be good between them again.

"He's taking it hard because he was the one who was supposed to be watching you," Matt said. "He didn't think you'd be able to sneak past him."

"I don't know why I snuck out," Mark said, no longer sure of who he had used. He had thought he would be admitting his feelings for Sean and starting something amazing, but then Toby had shown up in New York, letting Mark see a whole new way things could be. Did he _really_ care about Sean the way he said he did? Had he just gone to Sean because he couldn't face what he had with Toby? "I keep going over it over and over again and nothing makes sense."

"That's life," Matt said with a slight shrug of his shoulders. And then, almost as if he had been reading Mark's mind, Matt said: "Are you going to Ireland just to make sure Sean doesn't take you back so you can run off with Toby?"

"That, honestly, never entered my mind," Mark said. He knew an honest confession from him didn't hold much weight anymore, but he could tell that Matt believed him. "As far as I know, it's over with Toby. When I get back from Ireland, though...who knows? I don't believe Toby will give up."

"And depending on what happens in Ireland, when you get back it might be okay to let Toby win."

"I'm not gonna think about that right now," Mark said as he finished up packing. "Ending up with Toby after all this just seems... I don't know, wrong somehow. Especially since I was planning on being with Sean when I hooked up with Toby in New York."

Matt glanced toward the door then back at Mark. "I wasn't gonna say this with Ryan in the room," he said. "If your heart leads you to Toby, take it. Finding someone you care about is hard and he's nearby. I know how hard it was for you in a long distance relationship. Your relationship with Sean wasn't healthy, even if you hadn't cheated on him with Toby. You need someone around."

"If it doesn't work out with Sean, there's other options besides Toby," Mark said. Even though he had constantly considered the idea, he didn't want to picture himself with Toby. He had nothing against Toby, but there were now too many thoughts that came to mind when he was with Toby. "But I have to concentrate on the here and now. And that's Sean."

"I know he'll forgive you eventually," Matt said. "But I know he won't take you back. Sorry."

Mark nodded then grabbed his things and left.

* * *

 _Ireland_

Suffering from jet lag, Mark got himself a hotel room and fell right to bed. When he woke up, he stopped to get something to eat before heading to the hospital. He only knew which hospital to go to because Sean's parents were at least still talking to him. Which meant they didn't have the full story of what had happened between Mark and Sean. He wasn't going to bring it up and lessen his chances of seeing Sean. Sean's mom met him downstairs in the lobby and took him right up to Sean's room. She gave his arm a comforting squeeze then left him alone.

Mark was suddenly nervous. He stepped into the room, closing the door behind him as quietly as he could. He didn't know why. If Sean was still in a coma, he wouldn't hear it and be bothered. It still took Mark a few moments to step away from the door and move closer to the bed.

Seeing Sean lying there, so many emotions coursed through him. He wanted to apologize all over again and hope that what people said was true: that people in a coma could hear it when you talked to them. Mark walked over to the chair by the bed and sat down, seeing an open book on the table. Sean's mom had been reading. He looked away from the book and focused on Sean.

He looked fine, from what Mark could see. He had a few cuts and bruises on his face and hands, but nothing major. He had to restrain himself from pulling back the blanket to see how much damage had been inflicted. He clasped his hands together in his lap, just studying Sean's face for a moment. The only sound in the room was the steady _beep beep beep_ coming from the heart monitor.

"I know this is gonna sound cliche," Mark started, looking down at his hands. He took a deep breath then looked back at Sean. "But I don't know if you can hear me. If you can, I don't know how much it'll matter." He glanced toward the door as if making sure no one was walking in. "I keep telling myself not to blame myself for this, but that argument holds no weight. You wouldn't have been there if I hadn't done what I did. If I had stayed, you would've gone home and Toby would've been forgotten." He had tried to avoid mentioning Toby, but it would have come out eventually.

"I had a lot of time to think on that flight," Mark said after a moment's pause. "Ryan wants me to leave you alone. Matt wants me to, essentially, grovel at your feet for forgiveness, but he knows you won't take me back. I even know that. Nothing will be the same after what I did."

Mark looked at Sean, hoping for a reaction, but knew he would get nothing. "I don't know what to do anymore," he said. "Things are too complicated and too fucked up to wonder who I'll end up with. I used you. I thought long and hard about this and I've come to the conclusion that I never once used Toby. I used you to try and forget what Toby was starting to mean to me. I wouldn't call it love, but there's definitely something there. Knowing that... it hurts." He shrugged then leaned back in his seat and said nothing more.

Part of him was glad Sean wasn't awake, but he also wanted to hear Sean's thoughts on the matter. He picked up the book from the table and started reading some of it until he heard a soft knock at the door and the nurse walked in. Mark put the book down and stood up, walking out of the room without needing to be asked. He sat down in the waiting room and took out his phone, seeing texts from Matt and Toby.

Matt was asking about how Sean was doing. Toby wanted to know if Mark was okay. Mark ignored both texts and put his phone away. His outlook of Toby was constantly changing the longer he was away. By that one text, Mark saw a changed Toby. Different even from the Toby who had handed him the plane ticket. Toby was willing to let Mark go to make Mark happy because Mark had wanted to be here for Sean. Mark should have been that willing to let Toby go to be there for Sean a long time ago. He had just been trying to fight the truth. A fight he had lost which was why Sean had left.

Mark pulled his phone back out and replied to Toby: _I'd like to see you when I get back._ All he said to Matt was that Sean was still in a coma but doing fine. He waited for a reply from Toby, but nothing came. He put the phone away the settled in to wait for more news about Sean.

* * *

Sean opened his eyes the second Mark had left the room. "I'm sure he'd like to know that you were awake," the nurse was saying. Sean had gotten his family and all the nurses on this floor in on keeping Mark in the dark about Sean being awake. Sean was still mad and what he had just listened to made it worse.

It didn't make him madder. Just heartbroken. Knowing Mark had come all this way just for him had almost given Sean hope. But, clearly, Mark had only come this way to drive a knife deeper into Sean's heart. Hearing Mark confessing his feelings for Toby was the last thing Sean wanted to hear. The fact that Mark blamed himself for Sean getting hurt only made Sean feel slightly better.

"I don't want him to know," Sean said, sounding pouting even to himself. He looked down as the nurse checked everything out. "He's the last person I want to see right now. I'm starting to never want to talk to him again."

"That's a little harsh," the nurse said. "He traveled all this way for you."

"So he can fuck me over more than he already has."

"You should try talking to him," the nurse said. She patted him on the arm then turned and left.

Sean shook his head then laid his head back and closed his eyes. He tried to sleep, but all he could think about was Mark. Specifically, the "effort" Mark had been into that week they had spent in LA together. Mark had just said he had used Sean, but during that week, it hadn't been true. If it was true, Sean just refused to see it. Things had been great during that week. Everything fell apart because they had rushed into things and then Sean had left. If he had stayed in LA, maybe things would be different now.

No use thinking that. It was far too late now.

* * *

When Mark visited the hospital the next morning, he was surprised when he walked into Sean's room to see him awake. Mark started to go back and tell someone, but Sean gestured for him to come over. Letting the door close behind him, Mark walked over to the bed but didn't sit down.

"How long have you been awake?" Mark asked, putting together that someone would have been in here if Sean had just woken up. He felt a bit upset about being lied to, but he figured he had deserved it.

"In LA," Sean replied. He had no trouble looking Mark in the eye. Mark could still see the same anger and disappointment he had seen when Sean had walked away at the airport. "I didn't want to talk to you. I didn't want to see you, but my mom said that since you came all the way, the nice thing to do would be letting you see me. You did, so now you can go back home."

"And what I said yesterday?"

"Fuck you."

"Sean-"

"What did you think was gonna happen?" Sean asked. "You sit there and apologize, but the real reason you even said anything was to tell me you love Toby!"

"I don't-"

"Bullshit and you know it," Sean said, glaring at Mark now. "Tell me this: after what happened between you and Toby in New York, what made you think anything could last between us? Did you just want your fans to accept your relationship?"

"You know that has nothing-"

"That's not an answer."

Mark didn't say anything for a moment. Because he didn't have an answer. He realized why now: he was still trying to deny that he was in love with Toby. "I don't know," he finally replied. Sean didn't appear to like that answer. "I guess I had my mind set on one thing and I didn't want to change that. I don't regret starting things with you. It'd be a lie if I said I didn't want it or that I wasn't happy. We had a good thing. Really. Until you went back home."

"So that week I was in LA," Sean said. "With Bob and Wade. We were pretty much friends with benefits."

"I'm sorry-"

"Maybe one day I'll forgive you," Sean cut him off once again. "But right now...I hate you. It'd be best if you just go home."

Hearing those words from Sean hurt, but he hadn't expected instant forgiveness. "Fine," Mark said. He muttered a goodbye then turned and left.

But he didn't get far. Mark got as far as outside before he came to a halt. At the moment, he couldn't remember why he was even here. He should have listened to Matt and Ryan and just stayed away. Sean didn't want to see him. Had lied to make sure he didn't talk to Mark. Maybe that was what was keeping Mark here now. The fact that Sean wasn't exactly treating him any better. Taking a deep breath, he turned and went back inside.

Thankfully, Sean was still alone when Mark made it back to the room. He immediately knew why when he saw that Sean was crying. Sean didn't try to hide it. He just looked away when he saw that Mark was back.

"I'm a mess," Mark said, knowing another apology wouldn't do any good, but he could do nothing but try. "Maybe that was why I was drawn to Toby in New York. I was lonely and he was getting out of a fucked up relationship. In the back of my mind, I knew we were going through something similar, so I was hoping that we could help each other out. I know you don't want to hear it, but it worked. And, I swear, if that had never happened, we could have worked out."

Sean was silent for a moment then wiped his face and looked at Mark. "I've been beating myself up over the fact that I skipped that event in New York," he said. "I was fully prepared to go. You know what stopped me? You. Knowing you were gonna be there. I wasn't yet ready to face you. I wasn't even fully prepared in LA. We rushed into things."

"We've known each other for a couple of years now, I don't think that's rushing."

"We've known each other as friends for a couple of years," Sean said. "At least on your side."

Mark was always forgetting that Sean's feelings had always been there. "Sean-"

"Go home, Mark," Sean said, the look in his eyes was utter defeat. "I honestly don't care what happens when you get back to LA. Don't try to call me because I won't answer. We might've had a fun week in LA, but I'm not the one you want. I probably never have been."

"You can't seriously think that Toby-"

"I don't," Sean said with a slight shake of his head. "But something happened between you two in New York. Something you have to work out before you can even hope for me to forgive you. Sort yourself out. As you said, you're a mess." He looked away again, ending the conversation.

Mark hesitated a moment but then turned and left. He didn't turn back this time.

* * *

 _To be continued...  
_


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven:** _Something Has to Change_

Mark easily scheduled a flight back to the states since his ticket was good for any day, even just a few days after arriving. Waiting on his flight, he pulled out his phone and decided to live stream on YouTube. He had some things he wanted to say that just couldn't wait till he got home to vlog it. He didn't tweet out that he would be streaming, but a lot of people were already showing up as he said hi.

"Hey, guys, I know this is probably late or early for some of you and I'll make sure this is posted later so everyone else can also see this. I have some things to say. Yes, I'm sitting in an airport in Ireland. I can't even remember if I told you guys where I was. My mind's been occupied by a lot of other things.

"Anyway," he continued. "If you know what's happened, you'll be happy to know that Jack's doing fine." Jack. Not Sean. Back to just Jack. "I talked to him and he got me thinking about some stuff. Stuff I'll be thinking long and hard about on the long flight back. But that's not what I wanted to talk about."

Mark took a deep breath before continuing. The fact that he was sitting in a crowded airport terminal didn't bother him. "I've done things I'm not proud of. Some things I wish I could take back. And other things I hate myself for not regretting. If you didn't know… I cheated on Jack. And it was the worst thing I could've done. I nearly lost Jack in more ways than just breaking up because of it. I can't apologize for it because I don't deserve forgiveness. I deserve the hate, no matter how painful. I can't tell you why I did what I did. I haven't figured that out myself. I'm just sorry I disappointed you guys. You see me as a role model, as a sort of leader, and I fucked up. The cliche excuse: I'm only human and no one's perfect. But that excuse doesn't hold up for what I did. Not only did I hurt Jack, but I hurt my friends...I hurt you guys. I can't make up for that. I'll only make it worse. So, I want you guys to do something for me.

"Go to Jack. Give him your full support. He needs it a hell of a lot more than I do. Just remember that whatever he says or does, I deserve it. Don't hate on him for hating on me. Be on his side. I'm on his side on this. I'm an asshole. I won't be surprised or offended if a lot of you unsubscribed. I know some of you don't give a fuck about any of this and that's fine. It's not your life so you shouldn't have to worry about it. But I know most of you care. And I need you to be there for Jack. More than anything, he needs you."

* * *

Not noticing that Mark was streaming, Sean pulled out his phone and got on Tumblr. He had tried to sleep, but he couldn't stop thinking about what he and Mark had talked about. He didn't feel any sort of closure about it. Maybe he never would unless he forgave Mark. Which wasn't going to happen. So, still angry and upset, he started typing, fighting back more tears the entire time.

"The last few days have been rough and I don't see it getting any easier anytime soon. I'm taking a break from YouTube. Not only because I'm still in the hospital and who knows what kinda therapy they'll put me through. I just need a break because I need a break from everything that reminds me of Mark. If you don't know, Mark and I were dating. He was the only reason why I had gone back to America. He made me believe he needed me when in actuality he had someone there to keep him from being lonely. I won't try and sugarcoat it for you guys. Mark cheated on me. With Toby Turner, otherwise known as Tobuscus. And if Toby hadn't posted about it, Mark never would have said anything. He would've let me go on believing that things between him and Toby were done.

"Yes, he DID tell me, at first, that he had had an affair with Toby. I was stupid to have forgiven him because he had come forward about it. I had even blamed myself for it happening because I had left Mark 'in a vulnerable spot.' I just made it easier for him and Toby. Especially since I gave him a challenge. To prove I could still trust him. Knowing that, Mark still went to Toby. I'm telling you all this to let you know what kind of person Mark really is. Toby is partly to blame, but he was just doing what he does best: ruin people's lives.

"When I come back to YouTube after this little break, it'll be better. I'll move on. And I'll make sure I never have anything to do with Markiplier ever again."

* * *

 _Mark was laying on a bed covered in white, silk sheets. He smiled to himself as he rolled over, getting into a more comfortable position. He sat up straight when he saw Sean lying there beside him. He started to say something, but stopped himself when he realized that Sean was sleeping. Not wanting to wake him up, he turned to slowly crawl out of bed._

 _But stopped when Toby was suddenly there, pushing him back to lay down again. It wasn't until Toby climbed onto the bed on top of him that Mark realized they were both naked. Toby's skin was warm as he moved against Mark. A small moan came from Toby as their cocks bumped together. Mark held back a moan, looking over at Sean, who was still asleep._

 _Toby turned Mark's head for him to look back at him. Mark's mouth fell open as he felt Toby push inside him. Mark tried to stay quiet, but failed. As Toby moved deeper and deeper inside him, Mark let out a moan that got louder and louder every time Toby thrust._

 _"You think you can keep this from me?" Sean's voice. Mark turned his head and saw Sean standing next to the bed. His arms were crossed and he was glaring at Mark. "I wanted to trust you again."_

 _"Sean…" Mark trailed off as Toby started thrusting faster. It was like Sean no longer existed. He arched his back with a loud moan, screaming for Toby to fuck him harder. He found himself smiling, enjoying himself._

 _"He can't make you feel the way I make you feel," Toby was saying. "He'll never have his cock this deep inside you. Know why? Because I'm the one you've always wanted. You never get over your first."_

 _"You had me convinced that you loved me," Sean said, suddenly there on the bed next to Toby, looking down at Mark as well. "You were a great actor."_

 _"I still have you convinced there's love here," Toby said, his fingers wrapping tightly around Mark's cock. "But I had to do something when you lied to me as well. Saying you weren't ready for a serious relationship when you and Sean were practically shacking up together for the week."_

 _"This what you want?" Sean asked, gesturing to Toby, who was thrusting away. "He might make you feel great, but I touched your heart. Maybe you've just made yourself believe you're in love with Toby."_

 _Mark pulled away and rolled across the bed away from them. "I don't want this," he said, not entirely sure what he meant by that._

 _He closed his eyes and when he opened them, both of them were there. Toby slipped around behind him as Sean lowered his head. As Sean took Mark's cock into his mouth, Toby pushed himself inside him once again. Mark's eyes fell shut, giving in to the sensations…_

Mark was woken up the announcement that the plane was landing. He shook away the dream, though now he was all hot and bothered. Not to mention he had a boner. He glanced at the passenger beside him. The woman gave him a look that said she knew what kind of dream he had had. She glanced down at his crotch, mouthed you better take care of that, before looking away. Quickly, Mark slipped his hand into his pocket then repositioned his cock to where the bulge wasn't noticeable. He felt weird when the woman gave him an approving nod then they both got up as they disembarked.

Mark was a bit surprised when he saw Matt there to pick him up after he grabbed his luggage from baggage claim. "I saw your stream last night," Matt said. It seemed like something else was bothering him, but he didn't mention it. "I take it things didn't go so well." It wasn't a question.

"You pretty much told me he wouldn't take me back," Mark said as they walked out to Matt's car. "How's Ryan?"

"Still annoyed that you went over there," Matt said. "He said you made the situation worse."

"I don't see how I could have…" Mark trailed off as Matt pulled something up on his phone and showed it to him. Mark took the phone then read Sean's Tumblr post. It wasn't anything he hadn't been expecting, but he saw that everyone was fussing because he had posted it when Mark had been streaming an apology and request to be on Sean's side. Even with that request, after the Tumblr post, some people were hesitant about being on Sean's side. "I'm not gonna make another video."

"No one expects you to," Matt said, taking his phone back. "That stream was enough."

"I'm having a hard time believing that," Mark said, tempted to say something about Sean's Tumblr post publicly. He still stood by what he had said. He deserved the hate Sean was sending his way. He was still on Sean's side. "I just wanna go home and forget everything."

Matt didn't say anything more until they were in the car and on the road. "And what's the verdict on Toby?" He asked.

Mark thought about the dream he had on the flight. What Sean had said: Maybe you've just made yourself believe you're in love with Toby. He couldn't help but feel like that would be something Sean would actually tell him. He didn't want to think about the rest of that dream. His erection had gone down during the walk off the plane and he wasn't interested in bringing it back. And the thought of having both Toby and Sean on him...

"God, Toby…" Mark ran his fingers through his hair, remembering the text he had sent. He looked at Matt. "Mind making a pit stop?"

"Ryan won't like it."

"Yeah, well, I'm not living my life for Ryan," Mark said. He didn't want to fuck up his friendship with Ryan, but if Ryan didn't like Mark moving on with the man he cheated on Sean with, that was his problem. Mark wasn't even sure that was the reason he was going over there. That dream just made him confused about his feelings toward both Toby and Sean.

"I'm dropping you off," Matt said then continued before Mark could say anything. "I know you're good at doing the opposite of something someone tells you, but I want you to do this one thing for me. Are you listening?"

Mark nodded his head. "Yeah," he said.

"Spend the day and night with Toby," Matt said. "It's the easiest way for you to figure everything out. Ryan will probably bitch at me for doing this, but it has to be done."

Mark didn't think it was the easiest way to figure things out, but he didn't argue. After everything with Sean, the flight, and that dream, Mark needed something. Companionship. Which was what got him into trouble in the first place. There wasn't an overnight cure for loneliness. Right now, he needed someone. Now more than ever after everything Sean had said. "Then tell Ryan it was my idea," he said, looking at Matt. "I'm breaking off this friendship for your own good. Ryan needs you more than I need Ryan."

"He's hurting, too."

"I know," Mark said. "Tell him I'm sorry."

Matt nodded then said nothing more as they made the trip to Toby's house. Mark grabbed his luggage as he got out then watched as Matt drove away. Taking a deep breath, Mark headed up to Toby's door and knocked, setting the luggage down by the door.

It was only a minute or two before Toby opened the door. He looked really surprised to see Mark there and even more surprised to see the luggage. "Aren't you supposed to be in Ireland?" he asked. "Those tickets weren't cheap."

"I'll pay you back, if that's what you're worried about," Mark said. "Did you get my text?"

"You mean the ominous one that said you wanted to talk to me when you got back?" Toby asked. Mark nodded. "Then talk."

The fact that Toby wasn't inviting him in gave Mark a bad feeling. There was something else going on here. Something that would explain why Toby hadn't responded to his text. "Out here?" he asked.

From somewhere behind Toby came a woman's voice: "Who's at the door, hon?" Toby looked guilty when Mark met his eyes.

"Just a friend," Toby called behind him. "Be there in a minute!" He stepped outside, closing the door behind him. "Were you expecting me to be a fucking rebound? When I gave you those tickets, I accepted the fact that we were through."

"I'm glad that that was discussed," Mark said sarcastically. He nodded toward the door. "Who's she?"

"June. I met her in New York," Toby said. "During those extra few days I spent after that weekend. She moved here yesterday."

"So, you hooked up with her then did your best to make me believe-"

"I didn't make you believe anything," Toby said. "You're the one who didn't want this." He gestured to himself then Mark. "Don't blame me for you needing someone 24/7."

"But why?" Mark asked. "If you had someone, why were you so persistent with me?"

Toby was silent for a moment. "Because it was fun," he admitted. It felt like a slap to the face. "And you were so easy."

"It was all an act."

"Not all of it," Toby said. "At times, you really made me believe it was what you wanted."

"You fucked up everything."

Toby raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Oh, I did?" he asked. "Who's the one that said no but kept coming back? If you ask me, I did Jack a favor."

Mark suddenly grabbed him and shoved him hard against the door. "He could've died on that plane, you son of a bitch," he said. Toby looked afraid as if Mark would hit him, but Mark let him go instead.

He grabbed his bag. "I hope you two are happy," he said. "Good luck hiding the acting from her." Mark turned and walked away. He had to stop when Toby called his name and ran after him, grabbing his arm. He pulled his arm out of Toby's grasp, but didn't say anything.

"I want to thank you for that weekend in New York," Toby said. "And even if Jack had been there instead, I still wouldn't have changed anything I did. You can think I'm an asshole all you want, but I wouldn't change anything I did after that either." Keeping his back to him, Mark turned his head to glare at Toby. "Don't get mad at me for using you. You used me just as much."

Mark wanted to argue, but he hesitantly had to admit that Toby was right. Mark was just as much the bad guy as Toby was. Sean had been the victim. "You could've told me about June," he said. "You knew about me and Jack."

"If I had told you, would you have kept coming over?" Toby asked. "The only reason, I think, that you kept coming back was that I was easily available. And seemingly just as alone as you were."

Mark felt anger rise in him again. "So there really was something," he said. "Not love, I realize that now. But it could have been if it had lasted any longer."

"If June had decided not to come..." Toby said. "I would've happily been that rebound."

The dream he had on the plane came to mind again. "Technically, you've already been that rebound," he said. There must have been something on his face or in his voice, because Toby appeared to know exactly what he was talking about. "You and Sean."

Toby raised his eyebrows. "Both of us?" he asked then got a far off look in his eye...

"Don't even think about it," Mark said, pointing a finger at Toby warningly. "Besides, Jack wouldn't agree to it."

"I can be persuasive when I want to be."

"You wouldn't get anywhere with Jack," Mark said. "I only got to talk to him because I practically forced myself into his life. He won't let that happen again. He's done."

"I guess we are, too."

"It's for the best."

"Maybe," Toby said. "I could always talk to June."

"Don't bother," Mark said. "There's not a future here."

"If it means anything, I hope there's some sort of future out there for you as well."

Mark nodded then turned and walked off.

* * *

 _To be continued..._


End file.
